If you have never read an MBTV Felicity recap before, go to the FAQ first. Read it. Learn it. Live it. Love it. Do not e-mail us or start stupid-ass threads in the forums to correct our spelling of Knoll. I have threatened to forward all the spam I get at my Hotmail account to anyone who does so, and so help me, I'm going to do it. This is your final warning. The irony- and sarcasm-impaired have no business being at MBTV. I mean, have you ever read a single thing that Wing Chun or Sars have ever written? Get a clue, people.
One more item on the agenda before I get started, it's a shout-out to Moira's friend Pamela: Hey, be patient!
Previously on Felicity: Greg asks Felicity to be his election campaign manager; Ben mocks Greg and his campaign; Felicity decides to run for president; Greg gives Felicity tone for running against him.
In a university corridor, Javier hands out flyers and yells, "Please, vote for Felicity, she's -- I don't know what word -- special. She's special. Vote for Felicity! Vote for Felicity." To one woman in particular, he says, "Oh, fantastic boots. I love those boots." Felicity appears and is agitated because with every flyer Javier hands out; he also gives away a coupon for Dean & Deluca. She tells him it's against the rules and he says, "You have to do what it takes to win. It's cutthroat." Felicity thanks Javier for helping but says, "No more coupons!" Felicity starts walking down the hall in slow motion and in the background Javier says, "Vote for Felicity, she's not just a pretty face." Meanwhile, Felicity has started composing a tape to Sally in which she tells her that she thought that the worst thing that would happen would be losing but she's realized that "compared to running, losing should be easy." Felicity comes to an abrupt halt in front of one of her campaign posters, which features a huge head shot of her, to see graffiti reading, "Chia Head" on it in big read letters. She grabs it off the bulletin board and it isn't just a paper poster, it actually looks like it is mounted on foam-core. Maybe the first order of business for the new president would be to review campaign spending. As she is walking away with the poster, Richard passes her and giggles, "Chia head," while putting up one of his posters in the spot where Felicity's poster used to be. Felicity says, "It's not funny." Richard replies, "Tell me about it. Someone keeps setting my 'Free pizza' banners on fire." She thinks "that's crazy" because "it's just student council." Richard thinks "the only difference between college and national elections [is] soft money." Felicity asks him what that means but he says he doesn't know. Hmmm, a politician spouting a catchphrase even though he doesn't know what it means. Like, that would ever happen in real life. As if. Hey, this is what recapping The West Wing must be like. Ben joins them and tells Felicity that he has just seen someone defacing her posters that he chased the guy, but "lost him in the subway." Ben claims he has seen the perp before, it's the guy who always wears shorts and a red hat. Hey, this is what recapping Third Watch must be like. What a minute, I haven't vomited, so maybe this isn't so much like Third Watch.