Oh, the Charlie's Angels movie. Remember what I said earlier about making live-action movies of old cartoons? Well, that goes double for making old TV shows into movies, especially when the old shows are crappy to begin with. I'm not interested in seeing Lispy Potato Face (™ Wing Chun), Shrimp Days (™ Gwen) or the alliteratively named chick from Ally McBeal in an action movie. Salon Selectives is touting some product which gives you that "oh so 1998" parted-down-the-middle straight-hair look. Career women find new Philips televisions so much cuter than Lab puppies. That's because they step on puppies on their desperate journeys to the top of the corporate ladder. Omigod, JC Penney is having yet another sale. They have one every week, but this is the biggest sale of all! Whoo! Taco Bell is still pushing Sharona chalupas. Alyssa Milano wants you to save a buck or two with 1-800-COLLECT. Now the WB shows promos for Charmed and Gilmore Girls. Whoa, see what they did there?
Felicity goes to the frat house and confronts Randy. First she has to endure some snotty comments from one of his brothers. Randy tells her that nothing happened between them because she was a "train wreck," but the other frat brats thought something happened, and he let them believe it so they would think he was a "wicked stud." Instead of kicking his ass into next week for not telling the truth, Felicity just stands there.
Meghan is getting some cereal at the girls' apartment when Sean comes barging in. Meghan comments that they have to start locking the door. No kidding -- that's what I've been saying for weeks. Sean asks her to go with him when he goes for the ultrasound. She says she can't because she's getting a new tattoo. He begins to protest until she informs him that she was just kidding.
Docuventary clip: Knoll is getting a hotdog from a street vendor, and he's telling Sean about the "unusual side of student life" that he gets to see now that he's doing tech support. Sean asks him about the music major, whose real name is Jason. Knoll talks about Jason's room being the "zone of disturbing imagery" because that's where he first saw the spam with Felicity's photo, and because the last time he was there he saw something else.
Knoll is in Jason's room again, seated at the desk with the tangerine iBook. The room is dark except for about a thousand burning candles. Knoll mentions that it is illegal to burn candles in dorm rooms because he can't help but slip back into his nerdy advisor ways. Jason blows out all of the candles then he makes his move on Knoll by asking him to go to a Bach festival concert. Knoll asks if Jason has a crush on him. Jason says that he does, and Knoll replies that he is flattered but he's also straight. Jason says not to worry about it, and he tells Knoll that his computer is fine. Knoll says that he already figured that out. As he's leaving, he sees a photo of Jason and Richard, shirtless, with their arms around each other's shoulders, and he's taken aback.