Previously on Felicity, Ben and Felicity reunite; Julie snivels; Knoll tells the gang he's ditching college; Knoll and Gnatalie get married.
At the dorm apartment, Julie, Meghan, and Elena ogle their towel-clad neighbour and another guy while they hump around a green vinyl couch. The guys keep repositioning it, and the girls keep vetoing the placement just so that they can keep eyeing the guys. Felicity arrives, and the girls coax her into agreeing that the couch is still not in the right place to prolong their perving. Julie asks if the guys could help hang their curtains, but the guys say that they have to go to class. Towel Boy mentions that he should get dressed, to which Elena replies, "Why bother? Half joking, heh." Towel Boy says that he's always available to help and leaves. The girls all coo goodbye and speculate about how the towel remained done up. Felicity asks what's happened to Sean and Tracy. Elena turns toward a kitchen cupboard to reveal that she's wearing super tight jeans, which make her not-at-all-substantial behind look like a mighty big caboose. Lose the '70s-era jeans, girlfriend, they aren't doing much for your thighs, either. Believe me, I lived through that fashion the first time, I know whereof I speak. Anyway, Elena quite poutily notes that she loves Tracy, "He's the best abstinent partner a girl could have." Sean runs in with his camera, and Elena warns him that he can't "keep barging in, videotaping." Sean protests, "What, are you out of your mind? I'm going to make you all famous, like Gervase [points to Julie], Colleen [points to Meghan], Rudy [points to Felicity]." Nice shout out to MBTV's Survivor recaps. While Julie is definitely Gervase, I think Felicity is more of a Colleen than Meghan is. To me, Meghan is a cross between Kelly and Jenna. There's a noise at the door -- doesn't anyone knock these days? Is there no security in that building? Sean races down the hall and starts taping Knoll, who is dressed in a shiny shirt and still working the Noel Gallagher look. They all exchange greetings, and Knoll shows them his hand, which has a wedding ring on it . He tells them that he and Gnatalie are married, and Felicity looks sick at the thought. Sean says, "The network is gonna love this!"
"Married? Oh, Jesus, Mary, and St. Joseph," is Javier's reaction to the news when Felicity informs him of Knoll and Gnatalie's unholy alliance. They're at Dean & Deluca. Felicity pumps Javier for dirt on Gnatalie that she can use to convince Knoll that he's made a big mistake. Hey Felicity, butt out. Let Knoll lie in his own bed now that he's made it. It's not like you're sharing that bed with him. Javier advises, "Tell Knoll to check her scalp for three leetle sixes." Felicity doesn't think that is particularly helpful, but she perks up when she hears that Gnatalie has been arrested. Hmmm, shades of when Ben found out that Greg had been busted for trafficking last season. Javier claims that Gnatalie craves adventure like it is a drug. So far, two allusions to addiction and drugs. He goes on to say that he feels guilty because he was responsible for Knoll and Gnatalie meeting. Cut to the credits.