Felicity
The Christening

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Maggie: D | Grade It Now!
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The Christening

At the loft, Meghan is being interviewed for the Docuventary about how she spent the summer. She's back to wearing those ponytails on each side of her head which make her look like she's sporting basset hound ears. Her head looks enormous in comparison to the rest of her body. She talks about spending the summer with her new boyfriend, who would be Sean, and how great their sex was. That's classy. Meghan and Sean spent the summer in Tuscany having a "mostly good time." He puts down the camera and joins her on the sofa and they start macking.

On the street, Sean asks Richard about his summer and docuvents his response. It seems that Richard spent it working at a theme park in Florida and it wasn't that great because "not every female rodent character you meet is played by a female park employee." Omigod, I didn't know that's where Julie worked in the summer.

Elena and Tracy spent their summer working at the Children's Hospital in Buffalo. Elena gushes about Tracy's pleasant bedside manner, which causes Sean to ask if they got it on over the summer. Elena informs him that they did not. Just then, a guy from across the hall comes in to invite them to a "kegger" that he's going to have later on. Elena stutters that they might come over while Tracy looks pouty. His pout and his like chipmunk teeth remind me of Adam Rich, TV's Nicholas Bradford, but without the bowl cut.

Javier is standing at a hot dog vendor's cart on the street while Sean and his camera ask him whether he's excited about being a freshman. Javier replies that he "can't wait to rush." Sean expresses some surprise that Javier is planning to rush a fraternity. Javier admits that he doesn't know what rushing means, only that it is something freshmen do. Which fraternity should he join, I Felta Thi?

Back to Richard's interview, where he's complaining that the worst part of his summer was when he tried to look for Knoll and couldn't find him. Dude, you obviously do not know how to enjoy a summer. Knoll left a "cryptic message on his brother's machine in June, and that's all anybody knows." And this is a bad thing because...? Richard describes Gnatalie as "that girl, who looks like the Doritos chick." Yeah, well that's because she is the Doritos chick and it's also a pretty lame meta-statement. Sean thinks Knoll's "disappearance" is great because "every reality-based show needs some mystery." No, every reality-based show needs some reality, which anyone who has ever seen a Bunim/Murray production can tell you. Richard is annoyed that Sean wants to exploit Knoll's "abduction." We can only hope that the aliens used a sizable anal probe.

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Felicity

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