Felicity
The Paper Chase

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Kim: C- | 2 USERS: D+
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The Paper Chase

Sean walks into Noel's office with the news that he just nailed the Bowers account. Plus, Sean got the only Pop-Tarts left in the kitchen. Noel looks upset, and Sean asks why. Noel got a note saying that Mr. Webb wants to meet with him. Noel thinks it must be about his relationship with Zoe. It couldn't possibly be about work, right? Noel wonders what he should say. Sean introduces his four-point plan: FEPS. F stands for firm handshake. He demonstrates. E is for eye contract. Again, the demonstration. P is for Power First. Sean makes a fist at about shoulder height, which he claims shows enthusiasm. And finally, S is for the Solidarity Squeeze, a squeeze on the shoulder, because there's nothing wrong with a little human contact. Sean claims that FEPS landed the Bowers account. Noel's phone rings, and he is called to Mr. Webb's office. Sean reminds Noel about FEPS and wants to see Noel do a power fist. Noel doesn't want to do it, but finally demonstrates the weakest power fist ever. Sean is disgusted, and demonstrates the proper technique. Noel complies and leaves, and Sean says that it's hopeless.

Javier stands in his apartment, dressed in tennis whites and holding a racket. Rita promises that Javier looks very handsome, and that he's sure to find a boyfriend at the courts. Javier says that the guy in the shop claimed tennis is all about form, but Javier is really just concerned with finding a nice guy so that it will be "game, set, and match made in heaven." Rita thinks that tennis is a great way to meet someone. Javier suggests that they play tennis together, so that they will both meet someone. Rita confesses that she met a dental hygienist named Michael. Javier asks if it's serious, and Rita says that it hasn't gotten physical yet, but that she really likes him. Javier is happy for her, sort of. Rita asks what is the matter. Javier says, "I just want to be loved, too." Aw. Poor Javier. Rita promises that Javier will find someone, too. Javier is comforted. Rita suggests bringing Michael by Dean & Deluca so that Javier can meet him. Javier thinks that sounds great, but first he wants to show Rita the rest of his outfits. Rita can't believe that there are more. Javier says, "Honey, please." Seriously? I don't give a shit about Rita and her stupid boyfriend. Where's Elena? Richard? Anyone else besides Rita?

Noel meets with Mr. Webb. Before Mr. Webb can get a word out, Noel starts off on an explanation to the effect that his relationship with Zoe won't interfere with their work, and that he knows about her last relationship, and he promises he won't hurt her. Noel adds a power fist at the end. To the surprise of no one, Mr. Webb didn't call Noel in to discuss Zoe. The problem is Sean. Noel heard that Sean nailed the Bowers account. Mr. Webb tells Noel that Bowers is leaving because of Sean. Noel can't believe it, because Sean has so much enthusiasm. Mr. Webb says that enthusiasm is all Sean has, and that he's all instinct and no skill, and "his instincts -- they are not good." Mr. Webb complains that Sean only has one setting -- full speed ahead. Noel doesn't know what to say, because Sean is his partner, and they're a team. Mr. Webb wants Noel to take a more supervisory position, starting with their presentation the next day. Noel agrees. Mr. Webb says that he's having the conversation with Noel because if he has it with Sean, it will mean that Sean is fired. Noel looks sad.

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Felicity

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