I have give a huge shout-out to my Felicity writing partner, Kim, because she wrote the first four paragraphs of this recap. I had some taping technical difficulties and missed the first few minutes but Kim stepped in to help me out. Thanks, Kim!
I also want to tell all the witless goobers out there who keep e-mailing us to inform us that Knoll's name is actually "Noel": We know. It is a joke. This is a satirical recounting of a television show. Get over it. The next time any of you brainiacs does that, I'm going to start forwarding you all the spam that I get at my Hotmail account. I'm sure you'll enjoy all the "Make $$$$$$$$ from home," "Cheap Viagra!!!!!!!," and "Diplomas for free!!!!!!!" messages as much as I do. Just stop it because you're making Glark cry.
Previously on Felicity: Ruby told Knoll she thinks her purpose in life might be to have this baby. Felicity told Greg (the Health Center guy) she's not an idiot. Ben told Felicity he took the Health Center gig to be with her.
Felicity and Ben are at work at Dean & Deluca. Both of them are carrying things around and they keep running into each other, literally. Ben laughs it off but Felicity is all grouchy. He asks her if she wants to "talk about it," and when she professes ignorance as to what he wants to talk about, he responds, "That mood you're in." Felicity admits that Greg is bugging her because he's so "unbelievably arrogant, and "gets pleasure from pushing people around." Ben agrees, and says she should quit. Felicity doesn't want to, because that's what Greg wants and she's "not going to give him that satisfaction"; she resolves to "keep pushing back." As they continue to shelve the product-placed Pepsi, Ben says he's "no good with authority." Felicity asks what's going on with his community service and Ben says he's "avoiding it as long as [he] can." Felicity is upset that she has to "deal with Greg Stenson" while Ben is "doing nothing." Ben says Pavone is "really riding [his] ass" and making him take "some philosophy class." Felicity looks at him with disbelief and starts to go into the back room. Ben asks where she's going and Felicity says that Elena is "painting her apartment" and she's going to "help her pick out some colors." Ben nods and off-camera we hear Felicity crash into yet another co-worker.
Ruby is on the phone, telling someone that she's a "first-time patient" and she's "on [her] parent's insurance," but that she would prefer to "pay by check." She makes an appointment, then checks with Knoll, who is seated in the foreground, whether the time is okay with him. He doesn't hear her at first because he's lost in thought, but eventually agrees. Ruby confirms the time and hangs up, then says they have their "first pre-natal appointment" as she pencils it into her planner. She realizes how weird that sounds. Knoll is a lot less than enthusiastic, and Ruby's all "you don't have to go" and Knoll's all "I said I would" and Ruby's all "you don't want to" and "no one's forcing you to do anything" and "you can do whatever you want." Knoll asks, "Can I?" and then says what he wants to do is disappear or "trade places with someone else." Ruby looks a bit crestfallen. Knoll continues to say he would "love to be that guy" who "stands by [Ruby's] side and blindly goes along with this whole thing" but he "can't be that guy." Ruby just stares at him, and Knoll blurts out, "I'm sorry" as he leaves. ["Um, Knoll, you'd be wise to remember Barretta's wise words at this point in time: 'Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.' As a sexually active adult -- and I use that term loosely in this case -- every time you sleep with a woman, you risk getting her pregnant. This is as much your fault as hers. Suck it up and take some responsibility. Let that be a lesson for all you kids out there." -- Maggie]