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Mr. Sobell: C+ | Grade It Now!
Two Chefs Enter, One Chef Leaves

Previously on The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, & The Crybaby... well, if you need a recap at this point, you haven't really been paying attention. David and Whitney are your two finalists. Other than some Gordon Ramsay hyperbole -- "The next two hours are the most important of your lives!" -- what else do you need to know?

I shall miss you most of all, credits that spent more time on the glowering judges than on the contestants whose hopes and dreams we were supposed to give a shit about.

Gordon welcomes us to the MasterChef main event. We've gone from tens of thousands of amateur cooks from across this great country of ours to a parade of sadsacks and losers we further whittled down, until we were left with just two people -- Whitney, the 22-year-old student and David, the one-time software engineer and full-time chucklehead. Someone's getting an oversized novelty check by the end of tonight. Oh, and there are cookbooks involved, too. To the MasterChef battlestations!

In the final, David and Whitney will be tasked with making their best three dishes -- an appetizer, an entrée and a dessert. Say, doesn't that sound like the finale of that better cooking show appearing on that other network? No, silly -- the Top Chef finalists had to produce four courses. Also, that show is competently produced.

Whitney plans to make a crispy corn cake topped with a black-eyed pea purée as her appetizer. Also, shrimp and a turnip green pesto will be involved somehow. Her entrée is a country-fried chicken atop creamy collared greens. And for dessert: a twist on a classic bread pudding. Apparently, the twist is that it, too, will be puréed. Or made out of white chocolate. Or something. As for David, his appetizer is a scallop ceviche served with a cream of fresh pea and minced soup. Perhaps I misheard that, but can soup actually be minced? (Ah... he meant mint soup. Never mind, then.) His entrée will be a beef Wellington. ("That's one of my signature dishes," Gordon reminds him.) Dessert will be nectarine crêpes, which also happens to be one of Gordon's favorite dishes. Go large or go home, I guess.

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