Lost
Fire + Water

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Baptism by liar

Ana-Lucia is rigging up some kind of shelter. Jack strolls over, carrying a tarp, that he gives her "for when it rains," and it sure is lucky for the Lostaways that Oceanic Flight 815 was apparently carrying a major shipment from some Australian tarp manufacturer, since there seem to have been so damn many on board. And it's lucky for Ana-Lucia that the structure she constructed is a perfect fit for the tarp she didn't have when she was building it. But never mind. She asks Jack when he's going to tell her what happened in the jungle. "I already did," he says.

Ana-Lucia says Jack told her what Hairy Man (thanks again, Erin!) said, but what Jack didn't tell her is why he turned around and came back. "He had a gun to Kate's head," says Jack. Ana's response, unfortunately, is "You hittin' that?" Because trying to keep someone from getting shot is only understandable if you are indeed "hittin' that." Jack appears confused, so Ana-Lucia elaborates: "Plane crash, you both survive, nice beach. She's hot, you're hot…it's what people do." She's an expert on plane-crash survivors, I suppose. And she is definitely asking out of more than just curiosity. Jack, thankfully, says he's not "hittin' that," but fails to add that it's none of Ana's business either way. Until he starts hittin' her.

We're out in the jungle with Charlie, skulking through the foliage until he finds his stash of hidden heroin-filled Virgin Mary statues. He's glancing around furtively, but they might as well show us Locke following him, because it will be no surprise later on. Charlie picks up a statue and stares at it, then drops it on the ground and stomps on it to get to the sweet sweet heroin inside.

Flashback to Charlie, pencil clenched in teeth, plinking along crappily on his piano. Liam strolls in, flops down on the couch. "Karen kicked me out, man," he says. Wow, that's almost hard to believe. Charlie wants to know why, and Liam says it's because she thinks he's dangerous to the baby. "Why would she think that?" says Charlie. Because she knows him? "Because I dropped her. I dropped Meghan," says Liam, starting to cry. Or, to put it another way, because he is dangerous. Charlie tries to console him, but Liam's despondent because they have no money and wants to know what they're going to do. Charlie says they'll get through this, because he's writing again. Do they have food stamps in the UK? Better get to work, Liam.

Anyway, Charlie goes back to the piano to play his new song that he says is about two brothers, and Liam makes a snide comment along the lines of "two brothers who should be butchers," and Charlie says this song could be "the one," and then he starts in with the chords again, and it sounds like something that Jet would record, only somehow even shittier. And Charlie warbles away while Liam listens for a moment. And Charlie's moaning stuff along the lines of "all alone" and "tragedy" and "together now" and what have you. Liam gets up from the couch, and I was hoping he was going to slam the keyboard lid down on Charlie's fingers, but instead he starts singing along with Charlie, his eyes shining because of the redemptive power of his brother's love. Or some shite. They finish singing, thankfully, and they excitedly talk about how it'll be just like the "old days," like, can someone please seriously figure out this band's timeline? And then Liam has to go and spoil everything by asking Charlie if he's "got any."

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Lost

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