Episode Report Card
Shack: C+ | 5 USERS: D
Leave It To Reavers

Back up in the common room, Simon is still trying to convince River that everything's just fine. It's not working. She's thisclose to having a hissyfit. Then Simon hears Mal's footsteps and worries that Alliance people might be coming.

Mal, Matt, and the goons (that's the name of my surf-rock band) enter the common area from the side opposite of Simon and River, who are no longer there. They must have retreated down the corridor to hide. Mal works his way across the room to the other side while the guards fan out around the room. Mal looks down the corridor on the other side, and indeed, Simon and River are hiding there. Fortunately, Mal doesn't have to come up with a plan to keep the guards out of there. That's because Pete jumps out of hiding from behind the…uh…craft services table off-stage and attacks a guard. Seriously, there were guards all over that room. Pete wasn't really hiding anywhere. The actors were just all pretending not to see him. He slashes one of the guards with a knife, and he goes down. Blood splatters all over Matt. Peter tackles Matt and knocks him to the ground. Now we get to see what a Reaver looks like, sort of. Peter has inserted things like wires and safety pins through his face. So Reavers are apparently European punk rockers. I think it would be more believable if the Reavers were soccer fans. Especially if their team was having a really bad season. The men struggle. All the other guards in the room are apparently suddenly on break or something. Mal comes over and pulls Peter off Matt, ending the fight by snapping Peter's neck in that way that only works on television and the movies. And that's a good thing, because otherwise a lot of chiropractors would be in prison.

And so our anti-heroes are freed, but just like last week, they're taking a financial loss. The crew stands on the bridge, and Jayne mutters that even though Mal saved Matt's life, Matt took the cargo back anyway. If their mission goes wrong every week, I don't think it's going to take Reavers for these guys to have to resort to cannibalism. Our final shot for the episode comes from the Alliance city-ship, which blows the cargo ship up with missiles. So in the future, psychosis is a communicable disease, as is superstition.

Next week: A female stowaway tries to seduce just about everybody on the ship, regardless of gender. You are watching FOX!

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