A woman escorts Petaline in to meet with Simon. Simon says, "Let's get you lying down and take a look at you." Jayne thinks that's a great idea as well, except he means something in the earlier part of the whole baby-making program, as he and the blonde head up some stairs. A couple of women approach Book as he makes a sandwich over at the bar. He seems to think they want to offer him their "wares." They don't. They were hoping he would lead them in a "prayer meeting." They don't get much religion there. One explains that the last shepherd to come through town only read one passage, and then "took it out in trade" on the both of them. Book looks surprised. He thought he was the stiffest preacher in the 'verse. Thank you and goodnight! Kaylee whines that everybody's got somebody except for her. And River. And Simon. She orders Wash to tell her that she's pretty. He says that if he were unwed, he would "take her in a manly fashion." Ew. Stop that. Only Jayne can sell that shit.
In Nandi's "office" or whatever, she's explaining the details about Rance and Petaline. She's not sure if Rance is really the father of Petaline's baby. Regardless, she thinks Rance would be a horrible father and shouldn't have it. She says, "His barren prairie shrew can't bear him an heir, so he takes it into his head to pull it out of us." I'm sorry, what? What? This is all because his wife is infertile? It's 500 freaking years in the future, and he has to force a hooker to have his baby? Artificial insemination? Surrogate mothers? Hello? Hello? Do these people truly expect me to believe that a man who is powerful enough to rule an entire moon doesn't have access to fertility technology? Good god. Awful. Nandi further explains that Rance has enough money to build an advanced city, but he hoards all the money and technology so he can play cowboy. That makes the plot even more idiotic. She says he's turned this moon into a "theme park," because all this dusty Western stuff is somehow different from all the dusty Western stuff on all the other moons they've been on. Mal says he wants to meet Rance, so he can "size him up." Nandi tells him he's sure to be at "the theater" tonight. He asks Inara if she can "stoop to being on [his] arm." Inara responds, "Will you wash it first?" And don't forget to spray on some UST, by Calvin Klein.