Heart Of Gold

Episode Report Card
Shack: C | 15 USERS: B+
Gunfight At The Ho K Corral

Rance Jr. continues to be born. I don't think you're going to have to slap this baby to get him to start crying if all the gunplay is still going on once he's out.

Outside, men on horseback, everywhere. Zoe shoots some. Book knocks one off the horse with water from the hose. It looks like the house is winning. Inside, Mal tells Jayne through comms that he lost visuals on Rance. Yes, that's why you should have had Jayne take him out in the -- oh, never mind. Jayne doesn't know where he is either. Another whore gets shot in the shoulder.

Out of their view, Rance parks right at the back door of house. I don't know exactly why this is out of their view. I mean, didn't they think that they should defend the -- oh, never mind. Why should anything start making sense now? The traitor whore is back there waiting for Rance and waves him inside.

Back on Serenity, the three intruders are wandering through the kitchen area, looking for Wash and Kaylee. Suddenly, Wash pops out of a corridor and waves his arms in a ridiculously obvious distraction, but the men fall for it and chase him down the hall. He ends up in the engine room, and quickly seals the door behind him. Meanwhile, Kaylee has been hiding under a chair in the kitchen, and jumps out and closes the door to the corridor, sealing the three men in there. Wash rejoices at having locked down the men before realizing that he also trapped himself in the engine room, preventing him from actually piloting the ship. Oops.

Rance Jr. has been born. Yay! The spawn of a hooker and an evil right-wing nut. Celebrate! Not to be shown up by his son's sense of dramatic flair, this is the exact point where Rance forces his way into the room, points his laser gun at them all, and asks how his boy's doing. The tense music supports the Rances' sense of drama.

Act break. We return to the gun battle with Nandi and Mal versus the remaining men. Suddenly, Nandi hears Petaline screaming, drops her rifle, and goes scurrying down a hall. She rounds a corner to see Rance backing out of the birthing room, holding little Rance Jr. What, Simon didn't try to jump on him, like he does with most of the villains? Good thing Rance didn't try to kidnap River. Nandi confronts Rance in the hallway, warning him that most of his men are already dead. She tells him he's not getting out with the baby. Rance insists that he is, and declares, "This is my blood." But then Inara sneaks up behind him and holds a knife to his throat. She says, "No, this is your blood. Now you hand him over nice and slow, or I'll spill more than you can spare." One of the other hookers takes the baby from Rance. But the tide turns again a few seconds later -- Rance elbows Inara over, freeing himself, and then he shoots Nandi in the chest with the laser gun and runs off. Inara rushes over to Nandi's side. Seconds later, Mal bursts into the room and sees the results of the sci-fi captain's curse. Poor Nandi is dead. Sleeping with a non-cast-member is against the rules. It defies the UST. Nandi had to die. The two of them stare at her. Inara holds back tears. Mal sets his jaw, gives Inara a Somebody Is Going To Die look, and stomps out.

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