Heart Of Gold

Episode Report Card
Shack: C | 15 USERS: B+
Gunfight At The Ho K Corral

Elsewhere, Jayne and his temporary girlfriend stir in bed together. They're both clothed for some bizarre reason. You'd think be the ones down with the nekkidness. Jayne rolls over and hugs his girlfriend, while at the same time clutching a gun he was also apparently sleeping with. I don't think it's Vera. And remember, kids: If you're going to incorporate a gun into your sex with a whore, remember to make sure the safety's on! This has been a TWoP service announcement.

Elsewhere, Inara sits on the floor in a bedroom and cries. She insisted to Mal that she wasn't interested in him, demanded they keep their relationship professional, insulted his work, called him names, and turned up her nose at him at every opportunity. And then he went and slept with somebody else. Where did it all go wrong?

Everybody begins final preparations for the big confrontation. Mal checks in with Wash and Kaylee, walking around outside, to see if Wash is prepared to create some sort of distraction with Serenity He is. Kaylee makes some comment about Mal acting "funny" at breakfast. Funny "ha ha" or funny "woo-hoooooo"?

Inside the house, the whores all load their guns. Mal reminds them all to aim for the men, not the horses, because spooked horses will help keep the bandits distracted more than dead ones. Then they're all distracted by the sound of Jayne and his new best friend getting naughty audibly over the communicator. Mal puts an end to it, the killjoy. We see Jayne briefly playing with the woman's foot before he starts getting his guns ready. He's clearly in an upper story room in order to take on a sniper role.

Elsewhere, Petaline is still screaming as little Rance Jr. continues to force his way out. Inara is back comforting her. Nandi comes in and asks how things are going. Simon says it won't be long. As Rance's blood, it has a great sense of drama, and will most certainly be born in the middle of a gun battle. Nandi and Inara give each other looks, and Nandi seems to recognize Inara's situation. She puts a hand on Inara's shoulder and apologizes. She starts to explain that she didn't realize that Inara had feelings for Mal, but Inara cuts her off, because nobody is actually allowed to say that for another season or so, and insists she's fine.

And here come the thundering hordes of Dittoheads. Armed men on horseback pound across the desert. It looks as though a stationary gun has been installed on the hovercraft as well.

Back inside the house, Nandi heads over to Mal, who tells her he'd like her on the balcony, where they can get good shots at the intruders. Nandi confronts him over Inara, saying she didn't realize Inara had feelings for him as well. Mal lies that he doesn't understand what Nandi's talking about. Fortunately for the UST, the forward motion of this unending subplot is halted when Jayne comms him to warn of some "imminent violence" on the way.

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