Firefly
Firefly

Episode Report Card
Shack: B | 1055 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
A Hero Ain't Nothin' But A Box-Dropping Man-Ape Gone Wrong

They start walking away from the mud pits, while Jayne whines to Mal that Simon's going to get them all killed. Mal mocks Jayne's silly disguise. Wash asks if Jayne truly thinks that anybody is going to really recognize him after all these years. Mal notices something and says, "I think it's possible they might." Ahead is a statue made of clay. Of Jayne. With a small plaque. Jayne's last name is Cobb. Like Ty. Everybody, including Jayne, stares at the statue in disbelief. The swear word placed at the beginning of act one goes off at the end of act one when Simon exclaims, "Son of a bitch!"

Credits. You can't take my chocolate-creme-filled caramels from me.

When we return from commercials, everybody's still staring at the statue. Mal asks Jayne if he wants to explain. Did Jayne ever date a woman named Christi? That would explain everything. Jayne says he has absolutely no idea why there's a statue of himself standing in some unlikely stern, yet noble pose. He says that the last time he came to Canton, it was for a burglary job, stealing from the local magistrate. But the job went sour and he had to run away. He has no idea why they'd erect a statue to him because of it. Simon has been staring at the statue with his mouth agape (read into that what you will) and says, "This must be what going mad feels like." Well, then you'll be closer to your nutball sister, won't you? Wash sardonically observes that the statue captured Jayne's "essence." Kaylee thinks that the statue looks kind of angry. Wash says that's what he meant.

A whistle blows for a shift change, and Jayne looks around nervously. He couldn't be more skittish if he were a newborn colt. Sorry. I'm starting to slip into Western-speak, too. Dagnabbit. Jayne suggests that they get the heck of away from the statue and get their job done before things get any weirder. Mal mocks Jayne some more. Kaylee jokes that the statue's eyes follow her around. Jayne tries to pull the others away, but they don't seem to be moving. Finally he realizes that the only way to get out of there is to say something that could serve as a transition to somebody else's subplot. He reminds them all that he crossed the town's magistrate, and that man "ain't exactly a forgiving sort of guy."

Firefly

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