Back at the bar, Jayne is drinking in the wages of hero worship. And more booze. The mudders cheer, "To Jayne!" Jayne cheers, "To me!"
Elsewhere in the bar, Simon has decided to deal with all the new competition for Jayne's attention by getting plastered with Kaylee. Seriously -- Simon's acting like a guy who just got dumped. He drunkenly explains to Kaylee that he's saved lives as a doctor. He reattached some girl's leg. She named her hamster after him. Simon laments that he gets a hamster, while Jayne drops a box of money and gets a whole town. Oh, Simon, I bet she might have offered you more, but she could tell that you don't like girls that way. Simon offers up a toast to Jayne: "The box-dropping, man-ape-gone-wrong thing." Oh, Simon is so obsessed with Jayne. It's hysterical. Kaylee laughs and says that Simon is "pretty fun." Simon responds, "And you're pretty pretty." Uh-oh -- sounds like drunken closing-time flirtation. He's lost Jayne to the masses, but doesn't want to go home alone. Kaylee asks Simon to repeat that. He repeats that Kaylee is pretty, even when she's covered with engine grease. Especially when she's covered with engine grease. Because she looks like a tomboy. Emphasis on "boy."
Mal wanders by to try to get Kaylee and Simon out of there to do some planning. Kaylee "subtly" complains, "Now, Captain? Things are going so well." Mal doesn't pick up on this hint, thinking Kaylee's talking about Jayne. She repeats the statement, emphasizing the "going well" part. Mal responds, "You do realize that Simon's gay, don't you?" Actually, no. He picks up on the meaning and tries not to laugh in Kaylee's face. Mal allows the two of them to hang out and "keep an eye on Jayne." I'm sure Simon will.
Back on Serenity, River is repeating the latest KRZY weather report. Something about snow crushing a guy's brains. Oh, she's talking about Book's crazy hair in her own crazy fashion. Book comes around looking for her. She seems to have crawled into one of the cargo nooks in the main bay. Zoe is sitting on the stairs next to the nook, amusing herself with the subplot. Book tries to get River to come out, but she won't, because of all the hair. Book explains that its one of the rules of the order he belongs to. Yeah, that lends credibility to your arguments about embracing faith. Zoe interrupts Book to tell River that Book is "putting the hair away now." As Book pulls his hair back into a rubber band, River whines that even if he does, "it will still be there, waiting." If Book's hair does something awful to River, I might actually end up liking him.