Mal takes control of the discussion and tells everybody that they're there to discuss the fact that there's somebody on the ship that may be a danger to them. This, of course, triggers a pan upward so that we can see the intruder on the outside of the ship, eavesdropping. Mal talks about how some of them have grown attached to River, but she does have an "oddness" about her. You guys just don't understand her! She's lived a hard life and that's why she's so confrontational and you have no right to judge her! She still has a lot to learn! She reminds me of myself at that age! Oh, I'm sorry. This whole conversation just reminded me of the inevitable meeting in every season of The Real World where they spend an entire episode arguing about whether to toss one of the members out for being violent and stupid, as opposed to just stupid. Mal points out that River seems to know things that she shouldn't or couldn't possibly know. Jayne asks if they're saying she's a witch. Oh, Jayne's shirt has a rainbow pattern, little flowers, and a nekkid woman. That makes more sense. Wash snarks back at Jayne, "Yes, Jayne. She's a witch. She has had congress with the beast." Hey, that's no way to talk about Tara! Phoebe, on the other hand…a befuddled Jayne says, "She's in Congress?" Wash snarks, "How did your brain even learn human speech? I'm just curious." Jayne angrily tosses something on the table at him as Inara says something in Chinese ("Combining milk with Babassu Oil from the Amazon, our Babassu Milk Bath provides a fragrant and moisturizing bath experience.") and judgmentally reminds them all that they're talking about their lives, along with River's. Mal's old lady's such a downer.