Back on Serenity, Zoe and Wash beat the forward motion of the plot back into submission on the bridge. Zoe thinks Saffron's nuts. Wash attributes it to the strange customs of a sheltered planet. He explains that before he met Zoe, he spent six weeks on a moon where the chief form of entertainment was juggling geese. I imagine the second-most popular form of entertainment was getting a concussion from getting struck repeatedly in the head by a goose's powerful wings. Oh, Wash means they juggled goslings. Well, that makes perfect sense, then. Carry on. Zoe takes this to mean that Wash is on Saffron's "side." Why does Zoe even care? She claims she doesn't want some "groupie" distracting Mal. Why does Zoe have to suddenly be unreasonable? Why? She even bitches at Wash for not turning the ship around to drop Saffron off back home. She knew that they couldn't because of the Alliance. I hate this fight. It's so stupid. Stupid, poorly written fight. It makes Zoe look like another jealous woman, just like Inara. Zoe insists that Saffron is "trouble." Wash is beginning to see exactly the type of trouble Saffron is. Zoe mutters about going off to bed. Alan and Gina both did a good job selling that scene, but it was still stupid.
Elsewhere, Mal heads down into his quarters and is startled for yet the third time by Saffron, who is lying in his bed, naked. Mal is uncomfortable. Saffron is naked. She tells him she warmed the bed for him and "made [herself] ready for [him]," a complicated ritual which seems to consist of taking one's clothes off. Mal stutters and points out that she has a room of her own. Saffron plays stupid and asks if she's supposed to sleep there. Mal says that is, indeed, the plan. But with Western slang. Saffron starts playing brain damaged, I guess, and points out that they're married and asks whether they're to become "one flesh." Ew. Mal agrees with me. He's happy with them being "two fleshes here" and diplomatically asks her to sleep elsewhere. Saffron continues to play dumb and lets her sheet fall away to give Mal a good look at her spice rack. Mal, ever the gentleman, looks away. Saffron asks if Mal doesn't find her "pleasing." Mal explains that it's not about "pleasing," but about what's "morally right." Like stealing stuff from trains and scavenging from the dead. Saffron says that she knows her Bible and quotes as follows: "On the night of their betrothal, the wife shall open to the man as the furrow to the plow. And he shall work in her and again till she brings him to his fall. And rest him then upon the sweat of her breast." Whoa! They let kids read this stuff? Where is this from, the Book of Ron Jeremy? And it seems that Bible quotes are a big turn-on for Mal. No wonder he doesn't want to hear any of Book's sermons. That could get embarrassing. Mal's response is "Good Bible." Ew.