Mal stomps out of the shuttle, shooting back, "I wasn't looking for a fight!" Then out in the hallway, he finds Jayne, holding a really big automatic gun. He ratchets it. Or cocks it. Or whatever the hell you do to prepare automatic guns for shooting at people. Mal mutters, "I always seem to find one, though." Jayne stares at him.
Commericals? I check to make sure I wasn't watching last week's episode of Smallville by accident. Are we expected to believe that Jayne is going to threaten Mal over Saffron? Because I never did. At all. Really, really, bad attempt at dramatic tension.
We return to the "stand-off." Mal asks Jayne if he hasn't gone to extremes here. Jayne comments that he thinks Mal doesn't take him seriously. He points out that Mal got something "he didn't deserve." Mal points out that the gift of Saffron has added just a little bit too much spice to his life. Jayne relates some story about the gun he's holding; he was attacked by a bunch of men. One of them shot at him with the gun he's holding. He explains that the gun is a Callahan Blah Blah Blah with a full-bore Blah Blah and a customized Blah Blah Blah. He concludes that it's his "very favorite gun." Then he tries to give the gun to Mal. Mal mutters something in Chinese ("These eggs smell like the desert"), then asks Jayne if he's trying to trade the gun for Saffron. I'm glad I took Strega's advice and disconnected my Comedic Misdirection Alarm when I moved into my new apartment. Jayne mutters that it's theft, really. The gun is worth much more than "what [Mal's] got." Affronted, Mal points out that "what [he's] got" has a name -- Saffron. Unperturbed, Jayne points out that the gun has a name, too -- Vera. Mal sarcastically observes, "My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle." Are we going to get any rising action any time soon? I'm sure I can come up with something to barter in exchange for some forward motion in the plot. Mal refuses, of course, and gives a big speech about how Saffron's not to be bought and that she's an innocent who needs protection. Jayne insists that he'll protect her. Mal tells him to go play with his rain stick. Ah, double-entendres -- the refuge of the unfunny. Next stop, puns.