Mal hunts around the ship and eventually finds Waif cowering in a hallway and crying. She explains that she thought Mal was "pleased" during the ceremony last night. Hadn't she ever encountered a drunk guy before? Well, I say that as if I don't know the plot twist. I should be asking, "Why are these hard-bitten anti-heroes so ridiculously credulous?" Mal explains that he didn't realize he had agreed to marry her. She asks him if he's going to kill her. Mal is horrified at the idea. Waif explains that in the "Maiden's Home" where she lived, she heard stories about unsatisfied men dealing with their brides in a rather final manner. Presuming these Maiden's Homes actually exist, again I ask why the hell this whole concept is so confusing to Mal. Mal angrily insists that he would do no such thing and tells Waif that she shouldn't stand for that: "If somebody tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back." Mal insists to Waif that she's not property to be used and blah blah blah. Waif asks what will become of her. Mal says he might be able to get her work in Beaumonde. Waif insists that she doesn't want to be somebody's whore. Buyers only; no renters. Mal says he was thinking of something more along the line of ranch work. He says he'll figure something out and starts to leave. Waif timorously whispers that she'd make a good wife. Mal says he'd make a terrible husband, and she'll figure that out in the five days it takes them to get to Beaumonde. Waif perks up at the realization that they'll have five days together. Mal attempts to disabuse her of any untoward ideas by explaining that they'll be on the ship together for five days, not "together together." But Waif cuts him off with a clipped, "That'll be fine. I'll do for you -- or not -- as you choose," which as anybody knows, means that she's already deluding herself that she can possibly win him over. Well, that's what we're supposed to think, anyway. Subtextual misdirection: isn't it wild? Mal asks Waif if she's hungry and points out the location of the kitchen. Waif perkily insists that she'll cook something for Mal. Mal, of course, meant that she should make something for herself, but there's no stopping a submissive, timorous, arranged wife once she gets an act of servitude lodged in her head. Mal stops Waif to ask her what her name is, finally. It's Saffron. Like the spice. And the dye. Which is, coincidentally, about the same color as her hair.
Saffron heads off to play Maureen Robinson in the kitchen, while Book confronts Mal in the hallway because I hadn't wanted to push anybody out an airlock just yet. Book explains that divorce back on Saffron's colony is relatively rare and only done with the permission of her pastor. Book offers to send a "wave" back to him. Mal appreciates it and tries to head down a corridor. But that's not enough. Book calls after Mal that if he takes "sexual advantage" of Saffron, he's going to "burn in a very special hell. A level they reserve for child molesters. And people who talk in the theater." Let me consult my notes here. Oh, yeah: "Shut up, Book." Seriously, has he ever read the Bible? Marriages like this didn't exactly invoke stern rebukes from The Man Upstairs. I'm wondering if they're projecting to us that Book is a big fake who doesn't know a damned thing about the Bible. His knowledge of criminal tactics and activities is another clue as well. If so, this is a good ship for him to pull this scam, because most of the crew here would gnaw off their own limbs to escape from a sermon from him, which prevents him from accidentally revealing his ignorance. But I'm probably reading too much into it. He's probably just annoying and poorly written. Mal is offended and thinks Book has a smutty mind. Book apologizes for misjudging Mal and offers to make up a room for Saffron. He leaves, but then turns back to remind Book, "The special hell." Is it the hell I'm in every time I have to listen to Book talk?