Firefly
Firefly

Episode Report Card
Shack: B | 1870 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
A River Runs From It

Then River starts muttering about Ruby's predicament. She says that Ruby's mom went crazy and killed Ruby's sister. Butterfly thinks this means that she got Ruby to talk. She explains to Simon that what River said is true -- Ruby's mom went psycho and tried to kill both her little girls. Ruby survived. Butterfly calls River an "angel" because nobody else has been able to get little Ruby to speak since then. River looks at Butterfly with confusion and says, "Ruby doesn't talk. Her voice got scared away." Then, in River fashion, she's distracted by the sound of crickets. Butterfly is confused and concerned. How does River know what happened to Ruby if Ruby didn't talk? Simon tries to give some explanation, but clearly the hillfolk keep themselves in shape by jumping to conclusions at record speeds. Butterfly quotes the parts in the Bible about evil, magical folk hiding themselves among the commoners. Yeah, but if I've learned anything from Buffy and Charmed, it's that the witches stand out from the crowd with their ridiculous wardrobes, and River…oh. Right. Carry on, then. Butterfly McHillwoman concludes, "Thou shall not suffer a witch to live!" Uh oh. This Backwater Stereotype Theater has gotten a bit out of control.

Commercials. We return to some Minority Report-esque officious building of authority. Papa Tam is standing at some desk, so we know it's another flashback. A bellboy escorts Simon in. Papa Tam is furious with Simon. He interrupted his dinner with the Friedlichs. Simon sarcastically apologizes, saying that he never would have "tried to save River's life" if he had known there was a dinner party at risk. Pa Tam tells Simon not to be so flippant about it -- bailing him out cost Pa two thousand credits, and simply walking through the door to this holding area or whatever the hell it is will be reported on Pa's "permanent profile." Oh no! He'll never get into an Ivy League school now! Pa asks if Simon is trying to destroy the family. Simon responds, "I didn't realize it would be so easy." He insists that he didn't do anything wrong. Pa says that Simon was in a "blackout zone." Simon says he was just talking to somebody who could help River. What the hell is a blackout zone? Another energy crisis? Have we forgotten Enron? Simon insists that he's going back to that very blackout zone again. Pa warns Simon that he's going down some slippery slope and isn't thinking things through. Simon asks what he means by that. Pa says that he won't come down to bail Simon out the next time he gets in trouble. He's on his own. Pa asks if Simon's coming home. Simon regards Pa as if he were a piece of poo. Which he is.

Firefly

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