Firefly
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Episode Report Card
Shack: B- | 4 USERS: F
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A River Runs From It

Mal heads down to meet the Grange brothers, the two men who are there to buy the cows. Jayne is hanging around with the cattle, smackin' 'em around some more. I never wanted to be a cow until -- sorry! Anyway, the typical negotiations take place where the brothers cast aspersions on the quality of the cows in order to get the price down. But the cows are so considerate! If they could talk, I think they'd be practically begging to be made into pot roasts. I also think they'd have British accents for some reason. They bicker. They negotiate. The men, not the cows. The cows would never bicker. That would be rude. The brothers try to get the price down. Mal points out that they already agreed to a price with Badger. Book walks by and whispers to Mal, wondering if there's a problem. Nope. Mal's sure they'll both end up with an agreement soon. There's a sound of twig breaking, causing the brothers to reach for their guns. Book points out that the brothers are rather jumpy. Well, this is an illegal transaction, you dipwad. Jayne abuses the cows in the background. For you concerned members of the ASPCA, it's pretty clear that Adam Baldwin isn't even really touching them, and the sound effects are added in later. I think.

In town, Simon wanders out into the street to look for River. A pack of lawmen wander by. Simon tries to act inconspicuous, which in Simon's case means acting really, really conspicuous, as he stares at the ground and gives them a bland greeting as they walk by. Then he runs across the street. It wouldn't be fair to say that Simon runs like a girl. Not even girls flail their arms around that much.

Back at the corral, the brothers are suggesting that they might just walk away from the deal entirely. Mal says that would cause them all some big trouble. Just then, Inara and Kaylee wander by on the way back to the ship. Finally, they all agree on the amount that Mal predicted they would agree upon earlier. One of the brothers pulls out a sack full of coins. But just before they can hand the money over, the lawmen Simon encountered back in town burst out of the nearby woods to arrest the brothers for some murder. Oops. Well, Mal can't blame River for this one. Not that he could blame her for any of the others.

Back in town, Simon bounces off walls like a pinball while looking for his sister. You're worried, not drunk. Stop being such a drama queen. He makes his way down some covered alleyway, and finally opens up a curtain to a clearing. In the middle of the clearing is a stage, where people are dancing around in some sort of rendition of an Irish jig. Simon sees River heading up onto the stage. River goggles at everything the way she usually does, as the dancers rush around her. Suddenly she smiles and joins in, giving Summer Glau something to do with the dancing skills that first got her onto Angel. Simon watches and smiles. A guy sweeps up River, and they start dancing around the stage.

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Firefly

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