MONDO EXTRAS

Next Step: Straight To Video

by Jacob Clifton February 21, 2006 10:00 PM
Firefly

She takes off back up the stairs, and the impressed Zoe and Wash make room for her retreat back to the ship. Fanty and Mingo approach and get all cockney and colorful and shit. "Domestic troubles? 'Cause we don't wanna interrupt. A man should keep his house in order." Mal greets them, and they say he's got their names mixed up, but he doesn't. "He's Fanty. You're Mingo." You're both Badger, only not hot! God! They wonder at his ability to tell them apart, but he admits that it's because Fanty's prettier. They sit and toast to "endeavors," and Mal quietly kicks a bag across the floor, under the table. The twins make small talk, and finally Mal interrupts. "So I'm noticing. Is there a problem we don't know of? You got a sweet take kissing your foot. How's about you take your percentage, we can talk about the next job?" They explain that their end is now 40 percent, "precious," and Jayne swears by his "muscular buttocks" that it is not. They disagree, as of now.

River walks into the bar as the argument continues. The twins discuss how the Serenity crew is a "sorry lot" that most people won't even deal with. River's attention is caught by a Fruity Oaty Bar commercial, staring up at the television. "You're unpredictable, Mal. You run when you ought to fight. Fight when you ought to deal. Makes a businessperson a little twitchy." On screen, the commercial goes like this: "Fruity Bars make a man of a mouse / Fruity Oaty Bars, pow! / Make you bust out of your blouse / Eat them now, bang!" It's pretty awesome. There are these weird little Powerpuff nuns with bindis, and at one point an octopus comes flying out of a woman's shirt. Things go silent and there's a bluish glow on everything, River brightly lit in the darkness, consciousness fully altered. Images of her torture, of the Reavers, flash across the screen. She whispers: "Miranda."

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