Back on Serenity, Simon and Jayne are playing strip poker. Okay, they're not. It's normal poker. Well, it's not normal poker, but it's not strip poker. Sorry. Also, Book is there. Also, sorry. And River is wandering around in the background, quietly listening to KRZY's food and nutrition programming. Again, sorry. The guys are playing some futuristic variation of poker, and instead of chips, they're bidding on chores.
As the men bid, River starts pulling cans of food out of a box over in the pantry and ripping the labels off. According to KRZY's nutritionist, unlabeled food has no calories. That's how River stays so thin. Book wins the latest round of cards. The weird thing about the poker is that when he wins, he gets the "chips" that represent chores. These indicate things that he doesn't have to do. So how do they decide who actually has to do the chores? Does Book assign them? Oops, the Department of Overthinking just sent me a note, telling me that I'm taxing their servers. Sorry.
A box of crackers seems to have set River off -- perhaps she's upset about Farscape's cancellation, too -- and she starts muttering nonsensical things like "these are the ones that take you," as she lays the crackers on the counter and starts crushing them. Book and Simon finally notice her and rush over to calm her down. While they're over there, assuring her that everything's okay, Jayne steals some of Book's "chips." River mutters something about "hands that go everywhere" as Simon holds her and eventually calms her down. Book says that they'll have some mystery meals because of the cans, but no real harm was done. Jayne nonchalantly asks, "Are we gonna play cards, or are we gonna screw around?" Do I get a vote? No? Dammit.