Book slowly makes his way over to Simon and rests his hand on his shoulder. Simon turns around to see that River has wandered her way down a corridor to the cargo bay and is goggling around at everything. Perhaps KRZY is having a scavenger hunt and she's looking for an unused paintbrush? I'm a little unclear about what was going on here. I'm guessing that Badger and his crew didn't search the ship (idiots), so Simon didn't tell them about River in the hopes that she'd stay put and he wouldn't have to worry about her getting caught. But of course, River has to ruin it. Simon makes his way over to her; even though she's standing right at the edge of the cargo bay, not a single member of Badger's Bad-Asses has noticed her. Book moves back over to the other side of the room, standing right behind Badger and reading his book, so it obscures his view of what's going on. Simon whispers to River, trying to get her to go back into her room, but she's strangely playful and keeps telling Simon to "pull." Don't do it, Simon! The fart will definitely draw Badger's attention. Oops, too late anyway. Badger hears the noise and heads on over. Badger badgers Simon about River, asking who she is. He says she's just a passenger. Badger wonders why she doesn't talk, and asks if she has a secret. Suddenly River slips on a Cockney accent that mimics Badger's and says that she indeed has plenty of secrets, but she's not likely to tell them to him. She says, "Anyone off Dyton Colony knows better 'an to talk to strangers." The anti-heroes all look at each other in confusion. River than reaches over and fondles some pin on Badger's lapel that looks like a flamingo. She says that Badger is speaking "loudly enough for the both of [them]." She babbles that Badger was the type of guy who engaged in "minor graft" and served some time in lockdown -- but less than he claims. She says, "And now you're what? Petty thieves with delusions of standing? You're a sad little king of a sad little hill."
And then Badger shoots her dead. No, apparently not. Apparently, Badger's so enamored of the idea that River is from his old colony, that he doesn't even care that she just ripped him to shreds. He says it's nice to see somebody from the old homestead. River says, "Not really." She turns to Simon and says, "Call me if anybody interesting shows up," and then heads back down the corridor. Simon looks terribly confused. Jayne says to the others, "That there? Exactly the kind of diversion they could have used." Oops. But they didn't. Now maybe they'll revisit that "Nekkid Jayne" plan.