Episode Report Card
Shack: C+ | 14 USERS: B
The anvil is mightier than the sword

Right after the rest of the crew is gone, Mal hears something and turns around to find a man pointing a gun at him. In the middle of the street. Nobody else seems to care. This is the civilized part of the Hinterplanets? A man who looks like Ted from Queer as Folk, but dressed up like a British dandy (complete with bowler hat), strides up to them. Mal recognizes him and calls him "Badger." In a Cockney accent, Badger invites them for "a bit of a sit-down." Mal suggests instead "a bit of a piss off." But since Mal's not the one with the gun, Badger's suggestion wins.

Cut to some dank room. Mal and Jayne sit at a table. Mal says that last time they talked to Badger, they were "all manner of unwelcome." Jayne drinks some tea. He says it's not bad. Badger says that the secret to it is wood alcohol. Mmm…delicious blindness. Mal wonders why they're suddenly "favored guests" of Badger's. As Jayne hogs all the finger sandwiches -- yes, there are finger sandwiches at this little psychotic tea party -- Mal wants to know what's up. Badger explains that there's a rich guy, one Warrick Harrow, who has some merchandise he wants to sell off-world. Apparently, that's not allowed. Why trade would be embargoed between planets, given the limited resources they all seem to have, is an unanswered question. Unless, of course, it's to make sure that each planet's resources stay limited.

Anyway, Warrick is looking for a way around this. Badger says he's willing to cut Mal in on a smuggling operation. Mal wonders why Badger needs Serenity; Badger's got his own ships and crew. Badger says that Warrick won't deal with him and has taken an "irrational" dislike to him. With his mouth full, Jayne asks, "Wha' happen? He see your face?" Badger gives Jayne a look, then tells Mal that Warrick doesn't think Badger is "respectable" enough to deal with. Mal, though, might have a chance. Mal points out that Badger screwed them over the last time they had a deal. Badger blames it on them, claiming that Mal was being all snooty about it. Badger whines that Mal thinks he's better than other people. Well, I have to give the show credit for recognizing this personality trait of Mal's. Mal shoots back that he only thinks he's better than people he's better than. Just because that happens to be everybody, it's not his fault, now, is it? Mal realizes that this quality is what Badger is looking for. Badger agrees that the stick up Mal's "pee goo" (I don't think I need to translate that) is about the size of the one Warrick's got. He knows where Mal can meet with Warrick. An event of sorts. Really fancy. Hard to get in. Badger says, "Of course, you can't buy an invite with a diamond the size of a testicle. I got my hands on a couple." Mal giggles. Jayne giggles. I giggle. You giggled, too. Don't deny it. Badger sees Beavis and Butthead's reactions and clarifies that he got his hands on a couple of invitations. Not testicles.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14Next





Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP