Oops, I stepped all over the transition. Jayne's comment about screwing around is meant to be one of those ironical segue thingies. We cut to Zoe and Wash, screwing around. Well, post-screwing around. They lie in bed, naked and sweaty. Zoe says that she thought Wash wanted to spend some time off the ship on this trip. Wash says that Persephone's full of fancy parties, but he likes their parties better: "The dress code is easier, and I know all the steps." Zoe starts to fall asleep, but Wash reminds her that she can't because she's acting captain. There's reference to Jayne "slitting [her] throat and taking over" if he has the opportunity. Zoe doesn't seem to be taking this very seriously, so I think it's a massive exaggeration. Though we don't know how much. Wash jokes that he's done all he can to warn Zoe, so he'll be sure to read a nice poem at her funeral. Zoe suggests that Wash lock the door, instead. But Wash is all caught up in composing Zoe's poetic eulogy: "Here lies my beloved Zoe, my autumn flower. Somewhat less attractive now that she's all corpsified and gross." They start fooling around again. Aww.
Back at The Fancy-Schmancy Snobby Ball Of Rich Snotheads, Kaylee plucks a strawberry from the buffet. She stands next to some guy wearing a suit that looks like it's made of brown vinyl. She comments that the dancers are pretty and look like butterflies, or "pieces of wrapping paper, blowing around." The man gives Kaylee a quick bow, then walks away without a word. You've got to stop flirting with the gay ones, Kaylee.
Kaylee heads over to a pack of four girls that I'm simply go to refer to as "The Heathers." Kaylee greets them, and Head Heather doesn't know who she is, of course. Kaylee introduces herself. Head Heather introduces herself and her friends. They all have ridiculous names, so they might as well all be Heather. Kaylee marvels over the wonderfulness of the event. Heather Two says it was better last year. Kaylee asks what they had last year that is different from this year. Heather Two: "Standards." Meow. Head Heather asks Kaylee who made her dress. Kaylee blathers on about how much she knew she wanted it when she saw all the ruffles. Head Heather suggests that Kaylee might want to talk to her "girl." Kaylee's all "who in the what huh?" Head Heather explains that Kaylee's "girl" made her a dress that looks like she bought it in a store.
As Kaylee withers under the contempt of the snotty rich snobs of Snotterton, an older man wanders up to save the day. He greets Head Heather and marvels at her dress, telling her it must have taken a dozen slaves a dozen days to get her into it. She demures to his compliments. But then he puts the screws to her by adding, "Of course, your daddy tells me it takes the space of a schoolboy's wink to get you out of it again." The Heathers are humiliated, and rush off to go "well, I never!" at each other in the powder room. The man apologizes to Kaylee for his rudeness, but says he cannot abide "useless people." Kaylee chuckles.