Behind them, the Postmaster Generic has pushed out a giant crate, which was sent to Zoe and Mal. Mal doesn't know what it is, and says they hadn't ordered any parts. There's also a smaller box for Jayne. Book suggests they all back slowly away from any package for Jayne. Yes, those panties from all his female admirers may have been packed in a little tightly and could burst open all over the place at any moment. Oh, I don't think that's what Book meant. It turns out the package is from Jayne's mother, so I'm wrong, too. Or at least, I certainly hope so. As Jayne slowly and awkwardly reads the letter from his mom, Inara wanders over to Kaylee and asks her if aliens walk among them. She responds, "Yes. One of 'em's a doctor." He's from Planet Fabuloso IV. From the reading of Jayne's letter, we learn that he's been sending money home to his parents (awww) to help treat a sick relative (awww). Also, his family sounds exceedingly normal, which is an amusing irony for Mutant Enemy. As Mal and Zoe work to open the giant crate they've been shipped, Jayne opens his box to find an orange and yellow knitted cap. It has ear flaps and a cute little pom-pom on the top. Aw. My grandmother sends me the tackiest knitted blankets, but I still use them, because they're so warm. Although I'm going to have a hard time explaining to a partner why I have one orange blanket and one red, white, and blue blanket. Jayne puts the hat on and asks everybody how it looks. Kaylee thinks it's cute, of course. If she thinks aborted mutant cows are cute, surely she'll go for the hat. Wash declares that anybody who sees Jayne wearing that hat will know he's a guy who's not afraid of anything. Jayne, of course, misses the subtext of the comment.
Zoe and Mal have finally opened the crate, and inside they find what appears to be a coffin. They open the lid of the coffin to find that, indeed, it is a coffin. Complete with a dead young man inside. Everybody peers into the coffin. Jayne asks, "What'd y'all order a dead guy for?"
Credits. Okay, I'll tell them you "ain't coming back." I think they know that already, though.