Back on the train, Zoe and Mal make their way through the car full of soldiers. In the next car, full of normal poor people, Zoe asks Mal if perhaps there's something important they haven't been told that might explain why all the soldiers are there. Mal insists that the soldiers aren't their concern. Zoe worries that it's a potential problem. Mal points out that they're not protecting the goods, or else they wouldn't be letting passengers through the car. Zoe worries some more. Mal thinks soldiers make the heist more fun. Zoe says, "Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain missing." I find it amusing that Zoe is just as snarky as the rest of the crew, but she always calls Mal "Sir." She's Marcie to Mal's Peppermint Patty. Now there's an image. Mal is all excited at the idea of pulling off a heist with twenty Alliance soldiers on board, and insists he'd do it for free. Zoe asks if she can have his share of the money. Mal says no. She asks if she can have Mal's share of the money if he gets killed. Mal says yes. Outside, we see the ship pacing the train about a hundred yards away. And this wouldn't make anybody suspicious?
Back on the ship, Kaylee fiddles with the hatch in the storage bay. Simon wanders in, wearing a different vest ensemble, to see what's going on. Kaylee smiles and plays it cool but perky, as she explains that they're doing "crime." Really. Simon tries to play it nonchalant, like he's been witnessing train heists ever since he was a lad on Daddy's knee. Kaylee explains the plan to him: Zoe and Mal sneak into the cargo section; Jayne is then lowered onto the top of the car from the ship; then the three of them bundle up the goods, and everything (and everybody) is hauled back up onto the ship. Simon asks if they've done this before. Despite what our anti-heroes may have told Niska, Kaylee reveals that this is their first train heist. She's confident it will all work out, though. And then she says something in Chinese. I think they use Chinese as a way to get expletives on the show. How silly. Simon asks if there's anything he can do to help. Jayne wanders in and growls at Simon to "stay the hell out of everybody's way." Jayne then gets all Al Haig and insists that he's in charge when the captain's gone. He warns Simon not to think that he's part of the crew just because Mal brought him on as a medic, and tells him to focus on figuring out what the hell is wrong with his "moon-brained sister." The camera pans up to show us that River is sitting up on a walkway above them all, listening to the whole exchange. Chastened, Simon takes his leave.













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