Episode Report Card
Shack: C+ | 15 USERS: B
Even Nathan's naked ass couldn't save them.

Simon says, "Now, we could circle each other and growl, and we could sleep with one eye open, but that thought wearies me." Who in his (or her) right mind would grow weary of the idea of wrestling and sleeping with Jayne? Who, I ask? Who? Simon injects Jayne with something and says, "I don't care who you are, where you're from, don't care what you did, as long as you love me." Okay, so it's not quite the Backstreet Boys, but Simon does say that he doesn't care what Jayne's done in the past, or who he is -- Simon's going to trust him. He suggests Jayne do the same. He says he doesn't see "this" (relationship?) working any other way. Then he walks out of the infirmary. After he leaves, River peeks in again and tells Jayne, "Also, I can kill you with my brain." Jayne looks as though he believes it. You know, I was a little disappointed when I read this confrontation in the script, but now that I've seen it, this was probably the only response that's truly in character with what we know about Simon. Also, Sean Maher did a really good job with the scene. A lot of other actors would have played this scene in a snotty, superior tone (shut up, Wesley), but Sean went for an understated approach and came off far more genuine. He doesn't act like he's doing Jayne a favor by not getting his revenge. Now, I can only wonder what might have happened when Simon finds out that Mal also knew what Jayne did.

And we're back to the naked. We repeat the opening scene from the episode. It turns out he's not talking to himself after all. Inara walks up to him and asks, "You call this going well?" Honey, the guy you lurrrrrve is sitting there naked. Since you can't seem to actually speak your mind (stupid UST!), this is as "well" as it gets for you. Mal points out that they got the gun, so it worked out fine. Inara points out that Mal got stranded naked. Which makes me wonder how the hell she found him in the first place. Of course, that's not answered. Mal says that this was all according to their plan. Inara points out that her little "performance" was meant as a fail-safe in case everything else went wrong. Which it did, of course. Because Serenity flies under the banner of rule of Murphy's Law. Mal pretends that this was exactly the plan. Oh, and we get another shot of Nathan's ass. It's okay. Sorry, Nathan doesn't make me go (Eeeeeee!). He turns away from Inara (who checks out his ass), and it turns out that Serenity has landed right there as well. Mal heads up the landing ramp and barks out orders to the crew, still naked. Everybody looks at him like, "You do realize you're naked, right?" He stands there naked at the top of the loading ramp and stares nakedly out into the desert. Naked. Finally, he presses the button to close the ramp and declares that it was a good day. I think he likes the naked a little too much.

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