FlashForward

Episode Report Card
Sobell: B | 1567 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Well, Hello, Dollies

As Mark looks at the lock securing the door, he asks, "Think this will qualify as probable cause?" Keegan assures him, "The county judge will. He's my father-in-law." The wheels of justice thus greased with the rancid oil of nepotism, Demetri smashes the lock open.

The inside is every bit as creepy as you'd expect an abandoned dollhouse to be, but the "abandoned" part of the equation is soon called into question when we see a shadowy male silhouette pass by a window on the upper level. However, Mark, Demetri and Keegan have to case the lower floor to see if there are any items of interest. There aren't, unless you count "carts full of plastic body parts" as particularly interesting, and if you do, please keep that creepy proclivity to yourself, okay? As Mark, Demetri and Keegan head toward the stairs, we see a strip of small, horizontal lights at the base of the staircase. It's not clear whether they do. Their seeming inattentiveness is understandable, as the top of the stairs is festooned as what one can only describe as a "wetsy doll lynching party." Whatever sick stuff you and your friends ever did to Barbie dolls has nothing on this. When Mark heads up the stairs, we find that no, none of the law enforcement types had noticed the little blinking lights, because Mark just stepped on a jury-rigged sensor and set off the hanged dolls, which all now begin to jostle and sing "Ring around the rosy." The light goes off in the upstairs room, and Demetri's up there in a flash. Mark shouts, "FBI! Open the door!"

Demetri opens it for him with a kick -- if nothing else, not having any visions has been excellent for producing aggression that he can channel in productive ways on the job -- and when the three law-enforcing people burst inside, they behold a tall, lean, pea-coat-wearing man who's holding his arms out laterally. There are clear fish tanks on either side of him, and it's clear that they're not filled with guppies, but unclear as to what's actually in them. Oh, wait -- we get some crazy shots of a bomb set to go off, and computers in the tanks, and the guy intones, "He who foresees calamities suffers them twice over." Mark is all, What the FUN? and he asks, "What did you say?" but the mysterious figure only drops two Zippo lighters into the fluid-filled tanks and oh, look, everything's going up in flames. The only consolation is that those creepy dolls will burn and -- oh. And then the creep shoots and kills that nice Sheriff Keegan. Demetri and Mark try to take him down, but since they're surrounded by fire in an unfamiliar place and this guy has the advantage of knowing what he's doing, they are none too successful. Shortly before everything blows to Kingdom Come, the camera rests on a computer monitor displaying a chess game. Oh, good, we're dealing with Gary Kasparov. That'll be a romp through the bunny fields.

FlashForward

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