"Conrad" says that Mags is intimidating. Gimme a break. Barney Fife was more intimidating than Mags. Mags is on the front porch, asking Tim if he's drunk since pledging. Tim says he has. Mags says he needs to hear the rules of pledging; he needs to have them refreshed. Earl says there is no drinking, as we see footage of them all drinking. He says there are to be no visitors to the house, and we see footage of visitors at the house. He says there's no women allowed in the house, and we see women in the house. Mags wants to know how many of those rules have been broken, and Earl admits that they've broken them all, and thank God there's no rule against having sex with farm animals in the house or they would have all been gone several weeks ago. This makes Steve emit a shy giggle. Mags says in a POV that this impromptu humiliating line-up on the front porch at 6 AM while they're all still half-drunk will actually bring them closer. God. I'm glad I don't have this guy for a shrink. A neighbor yells at them to take it inside because people with actual IQs are trying to sleep. So the party gets moved indoors. Flounder asks Paul why he's there...why is he pledging. Paul says it's because he wants to be part of the best organization on campus. This sends Flounder into a rage, because the fraternity isn't an "organization," it's a family, goddammit. He spits at Paul that Paul is trying to be in "his fucking family." Seriously, at that point, I'm shocked the pledges didn't all just do double-takes at Flounder and say, "Dude...I don't wanna be in that guy's 'family,'" and the cameras shut off and the series ends right there. I cannot stress this enough...Flounder is a nerd. A nerd I wouldn't be caught dead hanging around with in public. There's not enough money in Bill Gates's bank account to pay me to be part of "his" family. I can see why he's so gung-ho about "his family," because I'll bet you my paycheck that Flounder's parents abandoned him when he was young and left him to grow up on his own behind a rest area on the side of a deserted highway in upper New York State and that these guys are the only real family he's ever known.
Episode Report CardUncle Bob: F | 654 USERS: C+
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