Fraternity Life
Boys On The Slide

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Boys On The Slide

Flounder and "Conrad" recognize the fact that the pledges are already drunk. "Conrad" is all, "Ooooo! I'm telling!!" while Flounder puts his arms around the guys in an effort to try to bond with them rather than come off like a legacy the frat was forced into accepting. Jarreau tried to warn everyone about "Conrad," since he seemed a bit uneasy that the pledges were drunk. Steve, Tim, Jarreau, and Alex are standing away from Dan, Flounder, and "Conrad." Steve says he wants to go to a good bar, and Tim says that if they do that, Flounder and "Conrad" will want to stick around and they're trying to ditch the losers for the evening. Alex says, "What? You don't want them around?" Jarreau looks at Alex and says, "Hello? McFLYYYY," which cracked me up. Tim says he wants to drink, and they can't drink unless they get rid of Tweedledum and Tweedledumber. Alex doesn't think they can lose the brothers; Jarreau says they can, and the four of them take off at a rapid pace, leaving the loser patrol with Dan behind. Flounder and "Conrad" feel dissed, so they take off. I'd almost feel sad for the guys, but you can kind of tell that they're used to it.

We see the pledges out on the town having fun, or, as Andrew W.K. would say, "partying hard." While Tim admits that they're all having a blast, if the brothers find out that the pledges dared to have fun, it's all over for them, they're done. Walking back to the pledge house, Paul calls Tim and says that somebody called Biff and ratted them out. Everyone thinks it's "Conrad" who did it, because he's the sneakier little bitch of the two. None of the pledges have ever trusted him anyway, and now they're in trouble because "Conrad" ratted them out. Earl admits he'd like to grab "Conrad" by the nutsack and twist it up until his testicles burst. For some reason, that makes Jarreau openly salivate.

Back at the pledge house, Paul is explaining what happened there while the guys were out. It's probably the lamest backstory ever told on television, so bear with me. After the guys ditched Flounder and "Conrad," the two mama's boys came back to the pledge house and told Paul they had smelled alcohol on some of the pledge's breaths. "Not mine!" Jarreau pipes up. "No," Paul says. "They smelled Alex's semen on your breath." Everyone laughs, including me, since I made the joke up. Anyway, the pussy police leave the house, and Biff calls up a few minutes later to ask how the alcohol is tasting tonight. Paul's taken aback; he's taken this opportunity to do homework and not go out and party like the rest of the guys, because he actually has aspirations of doing something with his life someday. Jarreau makes the brilliant deduction that "Conrad" went behind their backs. Earl admits aloud that he never liked that weasel-faced cockmeister to begin with. Then someone points out that Earl has a weasel-face too, and Earl acts all ashamed of his face.

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Fraternity Life

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