Fraternity Life

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847 USERS: C+
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Earl Interrupted: Welcome To Hell, Part I

Steve takes a bucket of water and pours it all over Earl's mattress. He then throws whipped cream at Earl and Earl's door. Personally, I think that's going a bit too far. You can fuck with a guy's mattress but dude...throwing whipped cream at him?! They'll arrrest you for that kind of thing in other countries. This infuriates Earl, who has now suffered the ultimate act of disrespect (sigh), so he grabs something off Steve's dresser and hurls it into Steve's fish tank, making it explode, sending water everywhere and little goldfish hurtling through the air. Tim says that the pledge house now looks like a war zone with dead fish everywhere, beds upturned, keg shrapnel buried in Brad's ass, a car wedged between two trees, and Earl's heat-seeking missile zipping through the house at alarming speed. Earl has had enough; he grabs his suitcase and tells Tim it was nice pledging with him, but he's done. He's out of here. He's yesterday's news. He's June Carter Cash. Tim half-assedly tries to keep Earl there and chill out, but Earl's pissed and is walking around in a half-awake state. Tim doesn't even get off his bed as he "pleads" with Earl to stay. Earl leaves the house while Tim scampers off to the confessional booth to say that it shouldn't be Earl leaving the house; it should be Steve. Earl decides that he doesn't know where he's going, but that he has to get out of the house. Tim surveys the damage in Steve's room, picks up a dead goldfish, and eats it. I take a breather as we go to commercials, because I've never seen such turmoil in the pledge house. I just really hope this doesn't signal an early end to the season. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm pleading for God to show mercy on me and burn the MTV studios and satellites down.

Fraternity Life

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