Fraternity Life
Earl Interrupted: Welcome To Hell, Part I

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Earl Interrupted: Welcome To Hell, Part I

At the fraternity house during a fraternity meeting, Brother Greg Brady wants to vote on Steve now because they've been wanting to do it for four weeks now. We see footage from a meeting four weeks earlier where the guys are saying that Steve's "I don't give a shit" attitude is really starting to freak them out; some of them smell a fist fight coming on, and none of them has ever been in a fist fight before. Brad -- who has more zits than you'd find at an average Star Trek convention dancing across his face -- says that Steve just doesn't care about anything, and while that may be cool in real life, this isn't real life: it's MTV's Fraternity Life, dammit, and on Fraternity Life, the pledges must do as they say or they're out on their fine, taut, muscled asses. Joe, Steve's big brother, says they're right -- Steve doesn't give a shit about anything. But Joe's going to keep an eye on him and try to find a single redeeming quality that Steve might possess. We flash forward to the present day, where Brad's saying that Steve's ass should be saved because Steve spent twelve hours working on the beer pong table by himself. By himself. Brad reminds us one more time that Steve did it by himself. He skipped study hours so that he could work on the beer pong table "by himself." This alone is reason enough to keep him. Never mind that he wasn't with the group, which is what he's supposed to be doing: Brad wants to keep him. In a horrifying POV, Brad's chubby, pimply head informs us that he used to despise Steve, but that lately he's started to "like him." He's sent him little Power Ranger Valentine cards and little slips of paper with "Do you like me back, check yes or no" on them, but so far none has been returned. If you look closely, you can see Brad's eyes welling up with tears. Conrad says he doesn't understand why Steve's still pledging, because he's an asshole. Brad reminds the brothers that they don't like Steve because he doesn't greet them the way they want to be greeted (with a sly grin and a quick flick of the tongue), but none of them greeted Brad the way he wanted to be greeted when they pledged the frat, and Brad thinks Steve's a "cool guy." That's one vote for keeping Steve and 19 million votes against him.

Over at the pledge house, Earl has called a meeting to tell everyone that they basically need to work together as a team on everything. Alex informs us that this meeting is specifically been called on Steve's account. Steve sits on the couch, looking like he's about to give birth to a watermelon. Finally, he gets up and Tim asks him where he's going. He announces to America that he has to take a shit, and does anybody fucking mind if he goes to take a shit. A Mr. Howard Owens and his lovely wife Bernice from Little Rock, Arkansas raise their hands in the privacy of their own den, protesting Steve's bowel movements, to no avail. Steve's halfway to the shitter before their votes are counted. Tim explains in a POV that Steve does whatever the fuck he wants, and that obviously Steve's not taking a shit. My guess -- as it has been the entire duration of this series -- is that Steve's in the bathroom, tapping the crook of his elbow, trying to find a vein that hasn't collapsed so that he can plunge the needle in and sink into the sweet sweet goodness.

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Fraternity Life

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