After commercials, we see Sarah talking about how she once lived with a virgin for a while; she says it was interesting, and that virgins are a breed of their own. Meanwhile, Earl is demonstrating the textbook example of "shifting nervously." Tim notes that they're having dessert at 2 AM, and that Sarah should be at work right now. He tells Steve that Earl's an idiot, because only horny old men wine and dine strippers. This is the "little fun" Tim promised they were going to have? I've had more fun at the proctologist's office.

At line-up, the pledges are ordered to empty their pockets to produce their items. Apparently, they have to carry a list of items like gum, condoms, and a dollar bill because all the items have a history of the fraternity behind them. I guess these are all objects they've shoved up each other's asses during hazing. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much! I'm sure you were all waiting anxiously on the edge of your seats for my weekly obligatory reference to their shoving foreign objects up each other's butts, and were beginning to lose hope that I may not have one this week. You should know by now, Uncle Bob never disappoints when it comes to "foreign objects up the ass" references. Uh, yeah. So anyway, Paul has misplaced his $1, so the other pledges have to get down and do thirty-three push-ups each. Paul feels bad about this and doesn't like having others paying for his ignorance. The whole thing pisses Tim off. Hey Tim, here's a suggestion: Depledge, you freak!