Fraternity Life
Earl's Gone Wild

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: C- | Grade It Now!
Earl's Gone Wild

Earl goes to talk to his big brother Mags about the guys picking on him and Sarah. I'm not really sure what all was said, because the majority of it was bleeped out, but I think Mags told Earl that the other guys are jealous because they don't have girlfriends while Earl's dating a stripper, and that Bill Bixby was never truly recognized for the outstanding dramatic abilities he once brought to Hollywood. Earl says he felt better after talking to Mags about dating a stripper and not getting any nookie for three dates now.

Meanwhile, Paul takes Earl's lead and goes to talk to his big brother Mike. Paul explains that he goes after everything very seriously, and that pledging is like a business to him. Mike sits there quietly, rolling a joint and wondering what the hell he did to his brothers to be stuck being this boring-assed pretty boy's big brother. Mike finally tells him to put the mop down and just fucking bond with the other pledges before he gets a mop handle jammed up his ass. This is like a revelation to Paul, who gives Mike one of those jive-assed handshakes that I've never been any good at and leaves to let Mike smoke his joint in peace.

The other pledges are shocked that evening when Paul wants to tag along on their bar crawl in order to "bond" with his pledge brothers. Tim and Earl can't believe it because this is the first time that Paul has shown any interest in bonding with them in a public setting. As it turns out, Paul is a natural at bonding, he just thought it'd be in his best interest to be totally serious about the process and not spend his evenings eating soggy saltines out of barroom urinals or whatever these guys consider "bonding" to be.

At the student union the next day, the guys are still riding Earl about dating a rat who gives somewhat decent lapdances. Earl's letting it all roll off his back, and says it doesn't matter what they say because he thinks that Sarah is "damned sexy." Awwww...spoken like a true drunk and separated sixty-year-old man who's stuffing $5 bills in a rat-faced stripper's g-string. We see Sarah and Earl in the house, making out. Then we see a night-vision shot: Sarah's wearing this maxi-nightgown that my little sister used to wear in the early 1970s. It's hideous. Earl says that if people don't have anything nice to say about Sarah, then they shouldn't say anything at all. Because Earl does like her. A lot. Why am I reminded of Forrest Gump and Jenny every time Earl opens his mouth about this skank? We see Earl and Sarah making out some more and then see a crane slowly rising to erect status, a car going in a tunnel, and Niagara Falls. We then see the door to the pledge house sex room as Earl is saying -- in a voice that sounds like he's about to scream -- "Hello church, hello family, hello friends, hello old teachers and principals!" He adds, "I finally found out that going out with a stripper can be an incredible amount of fun." We see him giggling, all wrapped up in a blanket, as a snippet from The Jeffersons theme song plays: "He finally got a piece of the pie."

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Fraternity Life




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