...lots of dead-animal shots. Dead animals mounted on walls, dead animals nailed to front doors, dead animals floating in children's pools. Hey, welcome to Buffalo! Keeping with the dog theme, Tim brings a dog in the house that he says he found tied to someone's front porch, and Earl freaks. Earl acts as if the dog is covered in nuclear waste and says he wants the dog out of the house this instant. Earl says he'll kill the dog with his bare hands if Tim doesn't take him out. He's convinced that the dog will piss and shit all over everything in the house. Finally, Tim starts giggling and tells Earl that it's his own dog from home that Earl had just seen and petted the week before. Earl grins and says he knew it all along when it's so obvious that he didn't. Maybe it's the mescaline kicking in, but Earl had no clue.
Steve and Tim go to the pet store on their neverending quest to secure a house pet. These guys are dead serious about having something other than humans in the house. You would think that having Dan hanging around would be enough to satisfy their need for non-human companionship, but apparently not. Anyway, they decide on some fish and a few turtles. They name the turtles Eppie and Fresh, which Steve explains why, but my closed captioning kept saying it was because "Fresh" means xiaple truock flet ginging. Alex and Jarreau are in the back seat of the SUV with Alex bitching about everything under the sun. We find out that since Alex was yanked from Lindsey's bed in the middle of the night, Lindsey is back to thinking that the fraternity sucks shit. Once again, we're magically transported to another location through the miracle of editing. Lindsey and Alex hook up on campus, and Lindsey says she has something to tell Alex. Alex tells her to spill the beans. Lindsey was hoping she could do this away from the cameras. Alex tells her that the cameras aren't going away anytime soon, and that if they were, he would ditch this fraternity shit in a heartbeat since the only reason he's pledging is for the television exposure so that maybe someday he'll be considered for a role in a really cool boy band. Lindsey acts all, "Gah! You don't love me!" and Alex is all, "Whatever." We then see shots of Niagara Falls as this relationship begins to "fall" by the wayside...get it?