Back to Candace and Becca. Candace notes that those girls rock, while Becca says they'll be fun to watch. Keep in mind, Becca was compensated for saying something so stupid. Candace is dying to see the men from Fraternity Life now. Becca says not yet; they have to have some commercials first. Candace is so frustrated that her hips bulge in protest. After about seventeen minutes of commercials, we're back to Candace and Becca, who introduce the guys of Fraternity Life. In case you were wondering, Fraternity Life is the show I'll be recapping. Stee will be recapping Sorority Life. When I asked Stee how he wanted to handle this special -- as in, which one of us would recap it, since it covers the casts of both our shows -- he said I could have it. Do me a favor: remind me to punch that bastard's lights out the next time I see him.
We see Colin the President, Aric the vice president, Adam the secretary, Chris -- who most of the guys call "Potter" because he's either the drug dealer of the frat or he's into that Harry Potter shit -- Jake, Aaron, Lindo, Brad, Chang, Mike, Mags, Jimmy, George the House Manager, Brian the pledgemaster, and Toad the Wet Sprocket. They describe themselves as very active in the community because they like to play soccer and lacrosse. They pull pranks on each other a lot and have a goshawful lot of fun. Brad tells a hilarious story about how some of his brothers fell asleep a bit early, so he sprinkled baby powder on them while they slept. This cat is a madman! The day he loosens the top on the salt shaker is the day they declare him King Pranky Prank Guy! Naturally, such an act would demand instant retribution, so we hear Mags and Jake's plan to capture a skunk and a pig and lock them in Brad's room! Oh nooooo! Gah, these guys are taking the prank thing way out of hand! The funniest thing about their revenge is not the fact that every personal item of Brad's will need to be burned, but the fact that Jake lisps like Cindy Brady. Dude. Speech therapy. It's hard to take a bad-ass seriously when his tongue's hanging out the side of his mouth like Daffy Duck as he's threatening to kick your "thtupid ath"! Brad understands that retaliation can come at any time, because last year they hogtied him on the couch. Now, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but if my "brothers" hogtied me on the couch I would not only never sprinkle baby powder on people while they slept, but I would slap a lawsuit on their asses so quick they'd break their necks trying to see it.