Fraternity Life
My Big Fat Greek Initiation

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: F | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
My Big Fat Greek Initiation

In a POV, Steve says he gave the fraternity 100% and that he put his whole heart into it and feels that they slapped him in the face. He wishes the pledge brothers the best of luck and says that they're still brothers amongst themselves and that he still loves those guys. He truly loves those guys -- more than his love for illicit drugs, and that's saying a lot. We see footage of fire trucks, and the thought goes through my head that Steve has torched the frat house. Sadly, it's just random Buffalo footage. I'm convinced that God stopped answering my prayers roughly fifteen weeks ago.

The pledges have been told to get dressed up, and they don't know why. Duh, you stupid bastards, check your calendars. Hell Week is over. Once again, Jarreau says they're all nervous about it. These guys are going to need a vast amount of Xanax before this Hell Week is over. I'll bet they wish Steve was still around now. They've all smoothed down their hair with saliva-covered palms and are led into the house by The Puke, who gives the camera his patented evil stare. We're reminded that this is a secret ritual involving gerbils, Vaseline, and cardboard paper towel tubes, and that cameras aren't allowed. That's cool. Most of us don't have the stomach for that kinda shit anyway. Meanwhile, the brothers all sneak in wearing shirts and ties, and many of them have their hats facing forward, which signifies a formal fraternity meeting. The secret ritual lasts three hours and is going on while various smarmy brothers stand out on the lawn, welcoming the pledges to the family via video greetings. Brad's carrying something that is blurred out. I'm guessing it's a 12" strap-on. Apparently, sometime during the secret ritual, they all crossed over into brotherhood. We're then treated to about five minutes of drunken hugging and kissing among frat boys. They're knocking each other over and climbing on top of each other. The pledges are all saying what a wonderful feeling it is to finally be a part of the brotherhood.

We then get the most bizarre scene of the series. I cannot possibly do it justice here. Jarreau and Tim are on the front lawn, hugging very inappropriately. It's an extremely tight hug and Tim's mouth is agape and rested against Jarreau's cheek. Tim's basically apologizing for all the shit he's done for the last seven weeks and says that he loves Jarreau. Jarreau says he loves Tim. No, Tim insists. It is Tim who loves Jarreau. No, Jarreau corrects him. It is Jarreau who loves Tim. They hug for twenty seconds on camera and you can see Jarreau kind of politely struggling to get away from Tim. Tim just won't let go until Jarreau finally wisely pulls away. He extends his hand for a friendly frat-brother handshake, and Tim pulls Jarreau to him again and hugs him even tighter. Jeebus. The scene has me shifting uncomfortably in my seat on Jarreau's behalf. Earl's telling some other guys that they're the best thing that's ever happened to him in his whole life. Somebody screams, "Let's go to the bars!" and they take off to the bars, where they're all wrapped around each other, helping each other walk. There had to be some sort of alcohol poisoning going on in that basement for three hours, because these guys are barely coherent and just a wee bit too excited to be fraternity brothers.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7Next

Fraternity Life

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP