Watching the show this week, I was hellbent on trying to recall a television show with more despicable characters than the pledges and brothers of Fraternity Life. Naturally, the only show that kept popping into my head was Little House on the Prairie. But even that show had that Nellie Oleson chick as the one redeeming character in a sea of repugnant cockroaches masquerading as actors.
Anyway, we see a quick recap of the night when the girls from Sorority Life broke into the pledge house through a window and trashed the house, "all in good fun." Kinda like shutting off Christopher Reeve's oxygen tank "to get a rise out of him." Dan -- who apparently doesn't live in the house, but still sleeps there (huh?) -- catches the girls in the act and does his best Michael Myers impression, walking slowly toward them with his head cocked and a blanket draped over his shoulders. The girls slowly exit through the window, since none of them wants Dan actually touching them because he's a genuinely creepy dude. He starts yelling for Paul after the girls are long gone, and Paul comes downstairs, flexing his pecs for all the gals on the TWoP boards. Next, the newly single Alex comes down, wanting to kick some sorority-girl ass. And you guys thought Earl had anger-management problems. Alex is climbing out the window after the girls until someone points out that they're gone. Alex assures his brothers that if they were still there, he would have beaten every one of their respective asses because he's now pro-frat 110\%. So we've now witnessed Alex's transformation from a whipped little bitch baby into a lean, mean, beating-up-girls machine, courtesy of his recent breakup with Lindsey. As Eddie Murphy so eloquently put it in 48 Hours, "Lack of pussy make you brave, man!" In a voice-over, Jimmy says that pranks between fraternities and sororities go back a long way -- even before most of these guys were in college! He says they're usually harmless, as we see footage of the horrendous damage that has been done to the guys' pledge house, including the girls' having written DZO on the windows in removable white shoe polish! Ack! The horror...THE HORROR! Paul calls them "sneaky bitches," which I'm sure the parents of these gals really appreciated while watching at home. Alex says they have to get them back, and Paul says, "We're not giving them X," which is short for ecstasty, the drug that makes you all happy and horny. I know this because I watch TRL when I get the chance. Alex grins and says, "We'll steal their virginity!" Sorry Al, I think you're about ten years too late to do that to most of these skanks. Alex voice-overs, "This is the beginning of...I don't know what." Hey, the guy never said eloquence was his strong point.