Fraternity Life

Episode Report Card
Uncle Bob: F | 802 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Prank Wankers

The pledges approach the girls and foolishly agree to let Alex do all the talking. Alex pulls some explanation out of his neatly trimmed ass to the effect that since the girls ransacked their house, they all need to sign this t-shirt "in good faith." I'm as amazed as Alex is when the girls don't all whip out their Sharpies and autograph the thing. Talia tries to enunciate, but all efforts are unsuccessful, so she just tells them in that whiny nasal voice of hers that the guys will have to produce the banner before the girls sign any t-shirt. Tim says, "Fuck it then," and the guys walk away. The girls feel superior because they didn't sign a t-shirt. Then again, they also don't have their banner. And that banner is a symbol of the love they share for one another. And without that banner, there could be mutiny in the DZO house! Gosh, is there really a micron of drama here or have I been studying the definition of "hyperbole" a little too intently lately?

Back at the pledge house, Tim has come up with a brilliant plan that would have Einstein giving him a standing ovation. He's decided to come up with a decoy banner to swap out for the signed t-shirt. The decoy banner looks exactly like the real banner. You know...when it's all folded up into a neat little bundle. He's just going to give it to them, and they'll give him the t-shirt; America wins and Jesus saves. Alex, Tim, and Steven show up at the DZO pledge house, and Alex tells Tim that Tim needs to do all the talking because he has it all planned out in his head. Plus, we already saw what happened when Alex tried to negotiate the t-shirt deal. The boy's lucky he didn't chomp his tongue off while trying to spit the shit out of his mouth as quickly as possible. We're reminded that there's fifty-six minutes until line-up, when the signed t-shirt has to be presented to the brothers of the fraternity. Janel -- the stucky-uppiest bitch from DZO -- answers the door saying, "May I help you?" You see Alex's face like he smells something foul, but it couldn't possibly be Janel because as she'll be so quick to point out, her shit doesn't stink. Tim asks if they're interupting a meeting, and she says they're interupting an "event." They're painting bricks, fer chrissakes. Bricks. Bricks, I'm telling you. Tim explains the story thus far to Janel and asks to get the t-shirt now in exchange for a fake banner. Janel goes to get backup and locks the door. Tim notices that the bricks they're painting are the pledges' bricks ,and Alex starts pouting as he asks why they never get to paint any bricks. It's elementary, my dear Alex: your fraternity doesn't paint bricks...it baits pricks. Baits them into thinking that someday they'll amount to something for joining their little gang o' thugs with bad haircuts and excessive ass acne.

Fraternity Life

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