Earl tells the cameras that the brothers have all made a pact that they're going out to eat as a group, and that nobody will answer their phones because it's late and the only reason the phones would be ringing is if one of the brothers were drunk and hysterical in a dark alley with a beer bottle jammed up his ass, needing a ride to the emergency room. Sounds fair enough. Don't answer your cell phones. Alex's phone rings, and he picks it up in a heartbeat, earning several middle fingers jammed in his face. It's the mysterious Brother Weaver screaming something about a beer bottle, needing an x-ray immediately and begging for a ride. Earl and Jarreau tell Alex that he's a stupid [bleep]sucker. Alex says this is the third time Brother Weaver has called him tonight, and that if he didn't answer the phone, there was a good chance that none of them would make it into the fraternity. Earl screams, "You don't pick up the [bleeping] phone!" about three dozen times in a row. Earl seems to be the exact opposite of a "fun drunk." This leads to Earl and Alex screaming at each other with enough bleeping for them to send secret coded messages to space aliens to come bomb Earth and take out the frat boys first. Alex says that he didn't want to give Brother Weaver a ride, but now he has to. Earl says they can't all go out and eat as a group because Alex screwed it all up because he hates the other pledges and is a suck-ass little taxi service. Screaming ensues, but it's the same horseshit being screamed over and over again and does not bear repeating here. Earl suggests that maybe if he yells at Alex enough, Alex will stop being a [bleeping] idiot. Alex tells the camera that Earl has a tendency to get on people's nerves, especially Alex's. I mean, what the [bleep], he acts like such a [bleeping] bitch. He's right. Earl is a spoiled little Mama's boy who never got his ass whipped with a belt in the grocery store, and that's why he acts the way he does. If Earl had a male role model in the house growing up rather than a string of johns humpin' his mama and then stiffing her on the money they owed, maybe he'd be a bit more rational now. Jarreau wonders if Alex's head was firmly planted in his ass when the phone rang. And if not, could Jarreau maybe...you know...plant his face in Alex's ass for a while? Maybe? Please?!
Episode Report CardUncle Bob: F | 480 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT