Supernatural
Freaks and Geeks

Episode Report Card
Tippi Blevins: C- | 17 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Schoolhouse Schlock
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

THEN! The show introduced us to its own particular brand of vampires, who weren't sparkly or brooding, but outfitted with teeth like a piranha's and an appetite for sweet, sweet human blood. The show also introduced us to Krissy Chambers, who packed more annoying smirkiness into her tiny teen body than should be physically possible. When her father went missing while hunting Vetalas, she wedged herself into the Winchesters' rescue plot. Straight out of the Annoying Teen Handbook, she saved the day while being unbearably sassy and spunky. She promised Dean she was retiring, but...

NOW! ...it wasn't a promise she could keep. Damn it. She's currently making out with a boy in a parked car near a dam. The screen helpfully tells us that this is taking place in Conway Springs, Kansas. I spent about two minutes trying to find out if there was actually a dam in Conway Springs, then realized I didn't care.

As is usually the case, the episode opens at night. Krissy doesn't seem too into the macking, even with "I'll Surely Die" by The Rubens playing in the background. While the teens tepidly mash their lips together, a blue van drives up behind them. A few seconds later, Krissy notices movement outside the car. "What was that?" The boy, who looks a bit old for her, wants to get back to the kissing. "There's no one out here but us, Krissy." Romeo wipes some fog off the window just as the car's hood springs open. The lovebirds gasp. Romeo tries to start the car to no avail. He produces a flashlight from somewhere on his person and goes out to check the car. "Don't leave me here, Aidan!" Krissy shouts. The passenger side window breaks beside her and a man yanks her out of the car. She screams and kicks. Aidan pops up behind her attacker and lops off his head with a machete. A young woman runs up to join the group. "You okay?" she asks. "That was close," Krissy says. "Next time, you get to be the bait." Aidan looks down at the two pieces of dead body lying on the ground at their feet. "That's him," he sniffles. "One down, two to go," Krissy says. The three of them then stand around displaying the kind of boredom that seems particular to teenagers, or to mediocre actors in a sub-par Supernatural episode.

Luckily, a much more exciting cast member soon cruises onto the screen to liven things up. I refer, of course, to the Impala. The Winchesters pull up outside the Conway County Sheriff's Office. They were kind enough to save their exposition until now, instead of laying out their plans on the drive over as logic would dictate. Dean shows Sam a newspaper article about two dead bodies found with their throats ripped out. "Sounds vampy to me," Dean says. "Yeah, maybe," Sam blahs. They then have their obligatory discussion about the subatomic woes Sam is suffering as a result of the Hell Gate Trials. Sam is displaying no overt symptoms this episode, so they needed to remind us of his impending doom by talking about it. Dean suggests he take a break from the case, but Sam insists he's fine. His electrons are turning into tapioca, but he's totally fine. "Are you okay?" he asks. He reminds Dean that Castiel "dinged him up" pretty good. He also subsequently healed Dean, but of course Sam is talking about feelings, much to Dean's dismay. "I'll go find some herbal tea," he snarks, "and you can find some Cowboy Junkies on the dial, and we can talk it out." It was funnier back in the pilot episode, when their "no chick flick moments" seemed like a refreshing promise and not like big, fat irony.

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