Sam, Bill, and Neal are standing at Sam's locker discussing how they can protect Lindsay. Neal declares that they have to go to the party but Bill can't go because "Dallas is on." Neal says, "Bill, Dallas sucks. Bill replies, "You suck." Sam applies some guilt and Bill says, "Fine, I'll go, but I'm watching Dallas there," and some passing girls giggle at that, so Bill adds, "I was just joking. I don't, I don't really watch Dallas."

After a bunch of commercials, we're back chez Weir and Dad Weir is barking out his final instructions before leaving. He notes that there's fifty dollars on the table, and that "it's not for those Star Wars cards or those Goofy Packs," and Sam interjects, "Wacky Packs." Dad says, "Whatever, don't blow it." Mom shows Lindsay about ten Tupperware containers that she's put in the fridge, telling her which meals they are for. As they are going out the door, it looks like Sam is going to spill the beans about the party but Lindsay gives him the stink eye, and he just tells his parents to have a good trip. When they've gone, Sam brings up the "improvisations" by the McKinley High Sober Students during the assembly. Lindsay lets him know that she saw them and that's why she left. Sam goes on trying to convince her not to have beer at the party and she ignores him and puts on an eight-track tape. He brings up the fact that she's never had beer at any of her other parties and she reminds him that they were birthday parties and they "went bowling." Grasping at straws, he mentions the party at which she had a magician, which "was fun," and he asks her why she won't have a magician this time. With a wave of her cookie-holding hand, she dismisses him and his magician idea.

Now we're in my grade thirteen Calculus class with Mr. Curran...oops, we're actually in Lindsay's math class, but her teacher could be Mr. Curran, if he only had more chalk dust on his ass, and a deck of Cameos or DuMarier Regulars (cigarette brand names, for you non-Canadians) in the shirt pocket of his short-sleeved shirt, under his sweater vest. Anyway, he's blathering on about functions of x, and c being a real number, while Lindsay appears to take copious notes. A stoner dude nearby mouths, "Par-tay!" to her, complete with the devil horns hand gesture. Yeah man, rock n' roll, hootchie-coo. Lindsay rolls her eyes and looks away. A female student appears at the door with a note, and she says that Lindsay has to go to the office to take an emergency call from her parents. She sits there stunned for a moment while Mr. Curran urges her with, "C'mon, let's go." After she grabs her things and leaves, he says, "Okay people, [eyes] back on me, the show's over." Okay, Chief. Sorry about your penis. I obviously still have issues with male math teachers.