Freaks & Geeks
Dead Dogs And Gym Teachers

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Dead Dogs And Gym Teachers

In the lunchroom, Kim and Lindsay do confess to Ken and Daniel. Ken asks Kim whether she killed the dog with her "bare hands." That almost makes up for his annoying next statement, that "girl plus car equals dead animal." Kim is too upset to kick him in the crotch for that remark. Lindsay thinks they should tell Millie what happened, but Kim doesn't want to. Ken makes a pathetic attempt to cheer up Kim by pointing out that at least she didn't kill a human. Kim says that what happened is worse, because she likes dogs. I like most animals better than I like most people, so I can relate. It's hard not to feel sorry for Millie, though. She's eating lunch alone, looking so down that her face is almost on her lunch tray.

The geeks are walking down the stairs, discussing something geeky; they run into Biff, who greets Bill happily. Much to Bill's consternation, Biff starts complimenting Gloria's cooking. Sam and Neal look on in disbelief, and when Biff departs -- after a hearty "see you in Gym class, big guy" -- Bill looks like he's going to vomit. Sam asks, "What the hell was that?" Bill tries to extricate himself from questioning by playing dumb, stammering, "Wh-what?" It's about as good as ploy as our rabbit, Bouncer, used to use when he was going through a period of acting out his dominance by peeing on our living-room couch. He knew he wasn't supposed to be on that couch, and if he saw us watching him when he wanted to jump up, he would back away nonchalantly. I honestly think he used to believe that, as long as no one saw him in the act of urinating on the couch, we wouldn't know it was him doing it -- like it might have been some other rabbit who broke into our apartment and took a leak on the couch. When we put the couch out by the side of the road, I must have gotten the garbage pickup day wrong, because it was out there for almost a week. I used to snicker every time I walked by it and imagined what strangers must think as they looked at the final urine stains that I just couldn't face cleaning and that had pushed me over the edge into getting rid of the couch. Sadly, Bouncer is now gone, too, and when he died, I was about as broken up as Millie is over Goliath. Bouncer definitely made up in sweetness what he lacked in brains. Just like Bill. Obviously traumatized, Bill has to tell Sam and Neal that his mom is dating Coach Fredricks. He warns them not to say anything about it.

Millie walks into a classroom and sits down at a desk next to Kim. Kim looks up and, after deliberating for a moment, asks Millie how she is. Millie looks shocked that Kim is speaking to her. It's Kim's turn to be shocked when Millie says she didn't do any of the class assignment since she was up all night crying over Goliath. Kim shares a story about her dog who died. Her dog's name was Bobo, which makes me laugh because a friend of mine once dated a guy whose nickname was Bobo. It was a short-lived match made in hell, but I used to like to collect and pass on the flyers a local Chinese restaurant handed out, in which they would advertise their "Bobo Balls." Millie and Kim bond over their lost pets for a while. Millie actually cheers up for a bit, until Kim tells her about how Bobo -- the dog, that is -- was epileptic and used to soil himself and the house during his epileptic fits, so her parents had him put to sleep. Millie invites Kim to Goliath's funeral. She accepts.

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