Freaks & Geeks
Dead Dogs And Gym Teachers

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Dead Dogs And Gym Teachers

Biff and Gloria discuss Bill's unwillingness to accept their relationship. Biff is obviously frustrated because he thinks Bill doesn't like him. Smart guy, that Biff -- except for the part about liking the Rocky movies, of course. Gloria insists that if Biff spent more time with Bill, they could forge a friendship. I'm not so sure about that myself, but Gloria seems convinced. She suggests that Biff take Bill to Go-Cart City. He should take her up on that idea, because I doubt there's much else the guys have in common.

As a matter of fact, Bill is, at that moment, busy dissing Fredricks. He calls him fat and says that he never plays the games he makes the students play. Ha! The total lack of physical exertion expended by my own Gym teachers is something I always used to wonder about -- when I wasn't busy devising ways to get out of Gym class, that is. Neal points out that there's no career advancement for a Gym teacher. Sam sticks up for Biff, though, pointing out that he let Bill be a captain in Gym class. That's not good enough for Bill, though, and he sarcastically says that he will have to start calling Biff "Daddy" now. Why, there's his new dad at the door now, extending the invitation to Go-Cart City. Bill hems and haws until Neal accepts it, on behalf of all the geeks. Biff is not prepared for this, but he handles himself well and cheerfully invites all three guys. Sam accepts happily enough, but Bill says, "Yeah, I guess so," in a tone of voice you'd expect to hear if someone had offered him a root canal performed with rusty farm implements. Biff leaves, and Bill gets mad at Neal for accepting Biff's invitation. Neal points out that it's easy enough to ditch Biff "and ride go-carts all day." Bill is not convinced.

Dad Weir won't allow Lindsay to attend the Who concert because of their "pornographic" song. Mom Weir suggests that she and Dad chaperone Lindsay at the concert. Did I mention how cute Mom is? She's pretty gullible, too, since she actually believes the story Lindsay concocts about sharing the Weirs' concerns about the concert but wanting to keep an eye on Millie. I don't know how anyone could believe a story like that, but maybe it's the simple fact that Millie is allowed to attend the concert that causes Dad to change his mind. He does warn Lindsay, however, "You just keep those boys away from your accordion."

In the car on the way to Go-Cart City, Biff tries to interest the boys in a conversation about basketball. Neal and Sam look mightily perplexed by it all; Bill, of course, is sulking. Biff finally realizes that basketball just isn't going to be a winner, conversation-wise, so he hands Bill a gift: it's fake dog shit from a joke shop. You would expect Bill to be as excited about this as Sam and Neal obviously are, but all he says is, "Oh great, just what I always wanted: doody." The fake vomit and trick dollar bill go over pretty well with Sam and Neal, though.

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