Mr. Kowchevski tries to get his class to settle down before their math test. An increasingly distraught Daniel, who looks about fifty-seven in this scene, finally asks the guy in front of him why Dave Fleury isn't in class. Daniel isn't so much concerned about Dave's health as he is panicky about the fact that he was planning to cheat off Dave's paper. After learning that Dave broke his arm in gym class, we see a frantic Daniel loping down the hallway and breaking the glass on a fire alarm, although Mr. Rosso shows up before Daniel can actually pull the alarm.

Instead of just calling the cops, Mr. Rosso does something really scary: he brings Daniel into his office for what he would probably call a "rap session." He berates Daniel about being "cool," asking if he thinks he's "the Fonz or something." I wish I could say that Daniel replies in the affirmative but he does not; he just stares at Mr. Rosso in sullen disbelief -- a perfectly appropriate response. Mr. Rosso says he's decided to stop being nice and asks, "How do you like them apples?" Daniel replies, "I like them just fine, sir." Uh-oh, now Mr. Rosso's really pissed off, and he assigns Daniel to the A.V. Club for the rest of the year. It's kind of funny to see Daniel's expression of dismay and to watch him age another ten years at this news, but I have to point out that, aside from the fact that I can't imagine a guidance counselor having the power to make students join after-school clubs, it's the end of the school year anyway, so how bad can this punishment be?

Lindsay's about to receive some unwelcome news of her own: She's been chosen to attend some monstrosity known as an "academic summit." When she asks what that is, the teacher tells her it's "two glorious weeks at the U. of M[ichigan] campus -- reading, debating, matching wits with the best and brightest students in Michigan." Lindsay looks seriously underwhelmed. Not even the news that the students will be "ranked daily" cheers her up. Ick, to me it sounds like Mathletics but ten times worse. Lindsay looks like she's about to hurl. ["Daily grades? I would have loved that in high school. Or now." -- Wing Chun]