Instead of just calling the cops, Mr. Rosso does something really scary: he brings Daniel into his office for what he would probably call a "rap session." He berates Daniel about being "cool," asking if he thinks he's "the Fonz or something." I wish I could say that Daniel replies in the affirmative but he does not; he just stares at Mr. Rosso in sullen disbelief -- a perfectly appropriate response. Mr. Rosso says he's decided to stop being nice and asks, "How do you like them apples?" Daniel replies, "I like them just fine, sir." Uh-oh, now Mr. Rosso's really pissed off, and he assigns Daniel to the A.V. Club for the rest of the year. It's kind of funny to see Daniel's expression of dismay and to watch him age another ten years at this news, but I have to point out that, aside from the fact that I can't imagine a guidance counselor having the power to make students join after-school clubs, it's the end of the school year anyway, so how bad can this punishment be?
Lindsay's about to receive some unwelcome news of her own: She's been chosen to attend some monstrosity known as an "academic summit." When she asks what that is, the teacher tells her it's "two glorious weeks at the U. of M[ichigan] campus -- reading, debating, matching wits with the best and brightest students in Michigan." Lindsay looks seriously underwhelmed. Not even the news that the students will be "ranked daily" cheers her up. Ick, to me it sounds like Mathletics but ten times worse. Lindsay looks like she's about to hurl. ["Daily grades? I would have loved that in high school. Or now." -- Wing Chun]
Okay, I want to know what's up with the commercials. I watched this episode on a Canadian channel, and I kept seeing ads for stuff aimed at people way older than what I would imagine is the target demographic of the show. I'm watching a commercial for a CD called Prom Night, which is full of songs from the '50s. Were they expecting everyone under the age of sixty to be out partying because it was a rockin' Saturday night? Were they aiming this commercial at Daniel? Should I be alarmed by the fact that I want to order the Prom Night CD?
Mr. Rosso is honing his pep talk skills on Lindsay, who is majorly bummed about having to attend the academic summit. He tries to cheer her up by quoting from the Grateful Dead but winds up having to explain who they are. He tells her that whenever he was stressing out in college, he would listen to the Dead's American Beauty album to calm down, and he forces Lindsay to borrow his copy of the album, telling her that after listening to it, she'll be "raring to go to that academic summit." I seriously doubt that, but I do think it's cool of Mr. Rosso to give her the album. I know I mock him regularly, and I would never have wanted to have him for a guidance counselor, and I laughed extra-hard at the Hallowe'en episode where the freaks smashed his pumpkin, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate Mr. Rosso's sweetness. Really!