It's time for gym class again, and the boys are lying in a circle on the floor, kicking around something called an "Earth ball," though Bill comments that it doesn't look much like the earth. Biff blows his whistle and tells the boys to hit the shower. Sam wants them all to boycott the showers together, but Neal and Bill don't want to join him in his activism. Neal comments that his hands are "filthy," and Bill says, "Yeah, and I can't say no to a long, luxurious shower."
In the locker room, Harris comes over to talk to Sam, who is a little put off by the fact that Harris is buck-naked. Sam has a hard time making small talk with Harris, who wants to know what foreign language Sam will be taking next year. Harris is thinking of taking German because he's "a quarter German." A tense silence ensues until Sam asks Harris to put on a towel. Harris reveals a theory that's pretty sophisticated for a high school student: "A body is merely a shell to conceal our heavenly souls. Try not to get too uptight." With a cheery "Auf Wiedersehen!" he's outta there. Enter Neal, who's wearing a "Virginia is for Lovers" towel, and Bill, clad in a really short little navy blue bathrobe trimmed with white piping. Neal seems particularly proud of his chest hair. Sam expresses amazement that they're going to shower. Neal says, "It's just water. What could happen?" Bill manages to sound utterly unenthusiastic even when delivering an insult: "Well, you could stop smelling like my butt, for once." Neal and Bill are walking toward the showers when Alan and his bully friends start snapping towels at them. The sound effects are vividly painful, and at one point, Bill is brought to his knees. When it's over, he says, "I hope I can still have kids." Since some of these episodes have aired out of order, I'm not sure if they're supposed to have been through Sex Ed yet, because Neal says, "Come on, you got hit in the groin, not a hysterectomy." Maybe he means a his-terectomy.
Sam is fully dressed, trying to slink out of the locker room without showering. It's pretty much a given that Biff catches him. While feeling up Sam's hair, Biff comments on how "fashionable" it is (hee!) and also that it is dry. Sam weasels out of showering by feigning illness. Biff lets him off the hook, but tells him he can "pick up the Academy Award" on the way to the nurse's office. Neal walks by in his "Virginia is for Lovers" towel, and Biff tells him to put on some clothes because he looks "like a fifty-year-old man." It's mean, but kind of true.













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