Freaks & Geeks
Freaks & Geeks

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I'm With The Band

Cut to commercial. Honestly, Candice Bergen, haven't you earned enough money over the years that you can finally give up those puke-inducing Sprint commercials? And to think I used to like Murphy Brown.

Back in the basement, the band is taking another stab at "Sunshine of Your Love." It's only marginally more recognizable this time, but they're playing it like a dirge. I mean all the fun has gone out of it. When they're done, Nick and Lindsay claim it's better, but Daniel's had it. He packs up his guitar and says he's leaving. Uh-oh, I think Lindsay's created a monster. Now that Nick's had a taste of standing up for himself, he thinks he's unstoppable, but this time Daniel and the others aren't buying it. Ken sums up what seems to be the feeling of the band when he says, "I hate this song. I've played it like six times. I never wanna hear it again!" Nick adds, "You know, you and Yoko here have turned music into school. What are you gonna do, start handing out band homework?" Ooh, I've been waiting for the Yoko reference. I'm glad we got that out of the way. When Nick claims he just wants to play the song right, Kim says, "Then go do it in the marching band, geek." Daniel calls Nick a dumb-ass and says, "Rock 'n' Roll don't come from your brain; it comes from your crotch. And if you'd ever got any, Mr. Cute Shorts, you'd know that." Thanks, Daniel; now you made me think about your crotch, and I'm really not enjoying that. Ken quits too, and as everyone's leaving, Nick shouts, "You're not even good enough to be in Creation!" I didn't think it was possible for Lindsay to look any more uncomfortable, but she manages it when Nick turns on her too.

The geeks are sitting on the pavement, and apparently the ice cream truck has just been by, because they're all enjoying some frozen confections. Sam has one of those red, white and blue bomb pops, while Bill and Neal are eating those weirdly coloured "Push-ups." They're watching some popular kids pile out of a car and go into the house across the street. Neal says, "I don't get it. What do they have that we don't have?" For starters, "good bodies," as Sam points out. Bill watches one of the football players throw a cheerleader over his shoulder, and helpfully comments, "He should use his legs more. He's gonna throw out his back." Neal claims his mom says, "Women prefer guys with a good sense of humour." Well, she's totally right, Neal -- except for during the four years that constitute high school. Bill says that Neal's "not very funny, " to which Neal replies, "Screw you, I'm hilarious." Bill's comeback: "Ooh, how witty! Get this guy on Hollywood Squares!" Personally, I don't think any of the geeks will have problems picking up babes in a couple of years. Mind you, I said "in a couple of years," because Sam reveals his cluelessness again when he says, "I overheard that Todd Schelinger takes off his shirt when he makes out. Why would he do that?" Neal claims it's "to show off his chest hair." He's really got a fixation on chest hair, as he goes on to claim, "All cool guys have hairy chests: Selleck, Reynolds, Rockford." Well, one cool guy out of three ain't bad, though I'm not sure how cool Rockford still was in 1980. Bill suggests Mork, which gets a laugh from Sam until Bill follows it up with, "He's got more hair on his hands than Sammy has in his pits." Oh, Bill, have I told you lately how much I love you? Sam plaintively asks, "Will girls ever like us?" Jeez, Sam, weren't you listening before? Neal says, "Our best play is to go for the smart, sexy librarian type. You know, she's sweet and shy, but then she takes off her glasses, and RROWR!" "Like Bailey on WKRP in Cincinnati?" asks Bill. Exactly! Sam claims Cindy Sanders is the librarian type, but Neal says she's more of a librarian for the "Playboy Mansion." Sorry, I just don't see it. I think she's pretty dopey and in need of a major makeover, starting with her hair. Bill tries to eat his entire Push-up at once but has to give up because it's too cold.

Freaks & Geeks

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