The episode opens with Mr. "Biff" Fredricks teaching a sex ed class to Sam, Neal, Bill and assorted other boys their age. He's droning on about the changes pubescent bodies go through while standing in front of a chart which depicts female reproductive organs. Neal and Bill make jokes about the diagram of the uterus and Sam shushes them, which just draws Biff's attention to him. Biff asks Sam if something is funny. Sam says no, so Biff says, "If you get the clap because you weren't paying attention in health class, is that going to be funny too?" Sam timidly says no. I say, cart before the horse much, Biff? Neal and Bill continue joking about how the uterus looks like the thing Sigourney Weaver killed in Alien. Again, Sam takes the rap for the noise that Neal and Bill are making. Biff gets fed up and he says, "Hello! McFly!" and knocks on Sam's head. Actually, he makes Sam come to the front to teach the class. Biff sits down in Sam's seat and refers to Sam as Dr. Love. Biff then puts Sam through his paces trying to identify the ovaries, the cervix, and the vagina, none of which he can identify correctly. It's all very cruel except for when, in an imitation of Richard Dawson on Family Feud, Biff says, "Ennnnnnnnnn! Cervix says, no!" That's kind of funny. ["I'm waiting for an opportunity to say 'cervix says...no!' in conversation. Sadly, I don't think that opportunity will come soon." -- Wing Chun] Biff ends the torture and allows Crispin Glover, uh, I mean Sam, to sit down. Sam passes by Alan, the mean guy from previous episodes who is now sporting a brush cut, on his way back to his seat. Alan smirks and says, "Dr. Luuuuve." Sam sits down and says, "At least I didn't get head lice." In the background, Bill snickers. Alan glares and punches his notebook. Then, the excellent Joan Jett theme song and the opening credits come on.

To the strains of Bachman Turner Overdrive's "Takin' Care of Business," Mr. "Call me Jeff" Rosso is glad-handing through the halls, complimenting some jocks in varsity jackets on the game, relaying praise from "his associates in the English department" to a passing girl, and he tells a velour-shirted guy named Brad to stop by his office so they can "rap." While I believe that the Sugar Hill Gang and Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five may have recorded by then, and their records may have reached Michigan by then, that's not the kind of rapping Mr. Rosso means. Anyway, when Mr. Rosso leaves, Brad rolls his eyes and gives a sarcastic "peace, brother" gesture to his friends. That Mr. Rosso, he loves to work at nothin' all day.